RuPaul's Drag Race All-Stars, Episode 5: "Roast In Peace"
The All-Stars enter the Werk Room and see Latrice's message and do their usual regroup before de-dragging. They commence being pretty shitty to Manila. It's pretty obvious that Manila is shaken up and upset. I mean, she's openly sobbing, but none of the other queens reach out to her or try to console her. They are all surprisingly cold and for me, it wasn't a great look. You can argue that they aren't a fan of how they perceive Manila to be playing this game, but Manila saving Latrice and sending Monét home isn't a game move. And how can they be shocked when Manila was pretty up front in during deliberations that she was going to fight to save Latrice. None of this was done behind anyone's backs. So, this outrage and determinations to send Manila home once she's in the bottom two, doesn't really ring true.
Ru enters the Werk Room the next day to give the gals their next Maxi Challenge assignment. It's a classic RuPaul's Drag Race Roast. This time, the target is Ru's dear friend and twisted sister, the Lady Bunny. It makes sense that All-Stars 4 would have a roast challenge. There was a roast of Michelle Visage in season nine and both Trinity and Valentina really sucked. Trinity was in the bottom three and she barely missed out on being in the bottom two. I hope she sent Farrah and Alexis Michelle a fruit basket for being way worse. This is a chance for redemption and it's kind of what All-Stars is made for.
Monique's reward for winning the lip sync for your legacy is to set the line up that the queens perform in. She puts Monét first, then Trinity, herself, Valentina, Naomi and Manila closes things out. She knows that closing is a lot of pressure and she thinks that she can get Manila in the bottom by placing her last. Oh Monique. Did you even watch season three?
Ru comes in and does a walkthrough for the first time this season. I love Ru's walkthroughs. A lot of people complain that Ru doesn't do a lot of judging on the Main Stage. I don't really think that's her job. She has the judges for that. Where Ru "judges" is during these walkthroughs and they have been sorely missed during this season of All-Stars. It's pretty clear from these walkthroughs which queens may be in trouble and Valentina is in trouble. That is even more apparent when the queens have some one on one time with SNL cast member, Cecily Strong. Valentina's jokes make no sense. She's clearly way out of her element and I've never been more terrified than when she tells Cecily she wants to tickle her pickle. Run girl. Run now.
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| RIP ya big bitch |
It's roast time and having Lady Bunny playing dead in a casket on stage is another layer of pressure that the queens didn't anticipate. Monét opens the show and she slays. Joke after joke after joke. They are great. Even Lady Bunny is having a hard time keeping a straight face. Trinity is terrible. I kept waiting for a cut to an interview where someone is screaming her famous, "WHERE ARE THE JOKES?" because there wasn't a one. The one saving grace is that at least Trinity knew that she was bombing. A little self-awareness can go a long way. Monique does fine. Her Baptist Southern preacher character is great and you can tell she is super familiar with that. My biggest critique would be she relies a little too much on physical humor which doesn't really work that well in a roast. I would have liked there to be more solid jokes.
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| Dearly beloved... |
Valentina comes on and it's... well, I don't know what it is. She's wearing sunglasses and tries to make a "I'd like to keep it on" please joke but that backfires when Ru commands her to remove them and you see that she didn't do her eye make up. It looks awful and like, what were you doing? Why are your eyes not done. It's a train wreck. Naomi is up next and I had really high hopes for her. I think she can be funny and she seemed to have some solid material when she met with Cecily but it all falls apart here. She continually makes age jokes that aren't funny that she laughs at. It was so awkward. I was super uncomfortable. Like I wanted to get up and walk away from the TV. Manila closes things out and slays. From the moment she comes out with the umbrella and gapes at Bunny in the casket to roasting her fellow cast mates with Lady Bunny's Last Will and Testicle, Manila shows that underestimating her is not a great idea.
The runway theme is Angelic White and I'm not as enthusiastic about it as the judges are, but there are two really stand out looks.
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| He Hole-iness |
Monét's stigmata covered, gay Pope look is for sure the best that she has ever looked on the Main Stage. The beading, the make up, the fucking train! It all works so well and is so dramatic and fucking amazing. This is the Monét X Change that I want to see every week on All-Stars. So freaking good. If I had one small critique, I wish the bottom would have been more than a body suit. Maybe a skirt or pants, just something. Monét is a bodysuit queen, and I can get behind that. And really that is like the most minor of quibbles when the overall look is that freaking strong.
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| When Queens Cry... |
The other standout is, Naomi Smalls with her tribute to Prince. It's such a smart choice. Since Prince passed away, paying tribute to him on an angelic themed runway is so fierce and so inspired. I was super impressed. There is this narrative going around that the judges are sleeping on Naomi, which I don't really agree with. She's been safe each week and that's really what she deserved. She needed a stunner to keep her in the competition this week after her awful performance in the main challenge and this was it. Everything about this is perfection. The pompadour hair, the guitar, the booties with the lace socks. It's Prince, but it's also soft and feminine and strong. So, so good.
The other queens are just OK. I wasn't floored by anyone. Ru loses her shit with Trinity's and I don't see it. Monique's looks a little homemade. Even Manila, who normally slays the game on the runway is pretty meh.
The judges critiques go about the way you would expect. Manila and Monét are the top two All-Stars and this week, if you ain't first, you're last. The remaining queens are in the bottom four. It's pretty clear to me that Valentina should be the one to go home, but the queens aren't sure. Especially when it comes to how Manila will vote. The LYSFYL ends in a draw with both Manila and Monét winning $5000.
But wait. Before either queen can reveal what lipstick is in their titty, Ru reveals that All-Stars rules are suspended until further notice. No one is going home tonight. Back in the Werk Room there is a message from Ru, telling the gals to prepare to lip sync for their lives. Then, in a nod to the famous face crack of the millennium from All-Stars 2, Lady Bunny appears in the mirror and advises the queens to look behind them. And who could it be, but Jasmin, Farrah, Gia and Latrice.
So, it looks like there is going to be some sort of lip sync challenge next week. Maybe a face off? Is this going to really shake up the game. I'm shook.
Rankings time!
6. Valentina. (It's time. Get out.)
5. Naomi (Being consistently just safe isn't enough.)
4. Monique (Keep getting in the top gal.)
3. Trinity (This week was really her first big misstep. Can she recover?)
2. Monét (You slayed it this week, gal. Keep it up, my sponge queen.)
1. Manila (She is strong. Three weeks in a row.)
That's it for this week. What the fuck is going to happen next week? Are you nervous? Are you bummed that no one went home this week, when a few really deserved it? Let me know in the comments.
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