When the All-Stars Host Their Own Club Nights, Not Everyone Wants to Party All the Time

RuPaul's Drag Race All-Stars, Episode 7: "Queen of Clubs"

It's episode 7 and we still have 7 queens, so that's great. Monique is not pleased that she and Latrice both stayed. I certainly respect a queen that understands this is a reality tv show and Monique clearly knows that. She knows that the producers gave Latrice this "redemption moment" to make for good TV, but she's not super into it. Aside from Manila, I'm not sure the other queens are here for it, either. 

In the Werk Room the next day, the queens are not here for Valentina's modeling or Valentina in general. Her shenanigans were cute day 1, now not so much. Ru enters and tells the queens that this week they will be breaking into teams and creating their own legendary club nights like the ones that she hosted when she was discovered by Susanne Bartsch. As a welcome back gift, Ru lets Latrice pair up the girls and then join the team of her choice. She pairs up Monique and Monét first. Despite Valentina's hanging on Trinity, she pairs Trinity and Manila and that leaves Naomi and Valentina. Latrice joins Manila and Trinity.

This is a really involved challenge. Not only do the queens have to come up with a theme, they have to build their club, decorate it, come up with a signature cocktail and an event to happen at midnight. It's a lot and I love it. It's not something we've seen before ad it feels really fresh. It's testing them in new ways. It's pretty clear from the jump that Naomi and Valentina are in trouble. They don't know what their theme should be and Valentina is all over the place. Naomi is worried, but she's not taking control. Girl. You can't just let this chick spiral. 

Monét and Monique are doing an outer space themed club called The Black Hole and they seem like they know what's up. Trinity, Manila and Latrice all have black and yellow costumes so why not make a bee hive themed club? And Manila was a graphic designer before she was a drag queen. It's definitely looking like Manila, Trinity and Latrice have the advantage, but Trinity isn't convinced that Latrice can pull her own weight. Get it?

The queens are doing a ton of work but there is still some time for comedy. Valentina is... crazy? Delusional? Both? When did this happen? In season 9, Val was a little full of herself, sure, but she was still recognizable as a functioning person. She's seemed to have left that fully behind and decided to live her life as a caricature of a person. It's like she watched a lot of sitcoms and decided she was going to be the whacky character in real life. Except, it's not really entertaining. It's grating. Her prancing around the work space in briefs and heels, performing for the camera rather than helping Naomi do anything is ridiculous and not in a good way. I feel badly for Naomi, but why didn't she try to take charge? She knows she needs a win and she knows this is out of control. It's so annoying. 

Oh and production couldn't provide painting overalls that fit Latrice because they wanted to pad the episode with an extended fat joke at Latrice's expense. Hilarious.

Don't get lost in the black holes.

First off, we are off to the Black Hole with Monét and Monique. I'm entertained. The queens clearly play well off each other and it looks like a blast. The alien baby in the corner is so cheap looking and dumb, but it adds to the effect rather than takes away from it, if that makes any sense. Their outfits are great. Monique seems to be pulling from Drag Race's greatest hits ie Sharon Needles' octopus fingers, Vixen's chopped purple wig. It all really works. Monét looks great as well. I love her Afro puff wig and I'm not always a fan of weird contact lenses on a queen, but they work perfectly for what they are trying to do with this club. Their feature is "walking Orion's Belt" which is basically an outer space themed fashion show. They get the judges involved including guest judges Rita Ora and Susanne Bartsch and it all looks like a ton of fun.

*whispers* Club 96

Next up is Valentina and Naomi's supermodel themed, Club 96 and I know you whispered that. That has to be the best part of this whole segment, Naomi's whispered "Club 96's." I actually think the concept of a club that is a throwback and homage to '90's supermodel culture is kind of brilliant. And Naomi and Valentina should be the perfect combo to pull that off, but the execution is just so sloppy. The decor is awful. Palm trees and CD's glued to the wall. No. The concept of a "skinny drink" is good, but it has to be able to be drank and watching the judges try to drink out of those cups is unintentionally hilarious. Naomi is definitely serving ditzy, oblivious supermodel, but Valentina is not. I don't even remember what their midnight feature was which isn't great. And they kind of ignore the judges rather than get them involved.

Very Important Beeyotches

Last up is Trinity, Manila and Latrice and Club  Hive. This club is by far the best decor wise. It looks so chic. The gold really works. It looks like they spent way more than they actually did and that is a good thing. They girls all look great in their yellow and black costumes. Their drink is fantastic. The puns are silly but they never are cringeworthy. The midnight spelling bee is a genius touch. The best part though comes at the very end when they release bees into the club. I laughed so hard. It reminded me of that Oprah gif where she releases bees onto her manic studio audience. I really hope that is what they were going for with that. It was freaking awesome. 

The runway theme is "Plastique Fantastique" and there are some definite standouts. Starting with:

Balls.

Carmen Rodriguez

Latrice "Motherfucking" Royale. Bitch. You've had this in your trunk the whole time and you've been serving us that boring ass pageant shit. This is wonderful. The colors are bright. It's weird. I love the eyes on the chest. The ball ponytail. It's all so right. This is what I want to see from Latrice Royale. Something fresh. Something new. Something awesome. I know it's sort of in vogue right now to hate on Latrice, but even though she's said some boneheaded shit and not been performing up to what we know she can do, this look is bananas. I was so happy to see it.

The next best look on the runway this week was Manila's Carmen Miranda meets Chi Chi Rodriguez gift basket eleganza. Manila continues to dazzle on the runway each week and I'm always excited to see what she's going to pull out. This week was no exception. She looks gorgeous and her interpretation of the runway direction is perfectly Manila. Every detail is so well thought out. The banana earrings, the ribbon belt, the shoes. All of it. Gorgeous.

Miss Colombia er Venezuela

The last look that I really enjoyed was Valentina's. Now, when I watched this initially with my friends, I kind of got swept up in their dislike for it, but when I watched it on my own, I liked it more and more. I appreciated what she was going for, this Barbie doll aesthetic complete with crotch nub. It had a sense of humor that a lot of Valentina's looks lack and she was really selling it. She looked beautiful, I loved the crown. It was a really successful look. Valentina sometimes has great ideas but her execution can be sloppy (see her deconstructed drag look from the "Curves and Swerves" runway), but this week it all came together nicely. Too bad she bombed the challenge.

Everyone else is OK. I like Trinity's plastic bubble gum fantasy, but the hair kind of ruins it. Naomi's is super underwhelming. It looks like a recycled version of her season 8 neon runway. Monét looks gorgeous but the off color brown body suit under her plastic look kind of ruins it. I love Monique's Josephine Baker reference but sadly she doesn't really pull it off this week.

The tops and bottoms are what you'd expect. Trinity and Latrice are the top and it's clear Manila was shook. I think she thought she would be in the top with Manila and it's clear she doesn't agree with the judges critique of her over talking her teammates. Naomi and Valentina land in the bottom and there is a cringe-y moment of Michelle trying to take Valentina to task for reusing her Snatch Game character from season 9 for this runway when they are different. See, editing is shady with the judges too.

The backstage meetings go as you'd expect. I wish Naomi had been a little more forceful when defending herself and really told Latrice and Trinity how much work she did. (All of it) But I think she was hesitant to really chuck Valentina under the bus. The lip sync is kind of a hot mess. Trinity's gross old man/woman bodysuit doesn't work and Latrice basically gets a win handed to her. She sends home Valentina and that is all she wrote.

Some power rankings:

6. Naomi (Seriously. Win a challenge girl.)

5. Monique Heart (This wasn't her week.)

4. Monét (Inches ahead of Monique because her runway was a little better.)

3. Manila (Should have not been so worried about helping Latrice.)

2. Latrice (The bitch came back strong. You have to hand it to her.)

1. Trinity (Gets her third win. Too bad she made that awful choice to wear that bodysuit. I'm wondering if it isn't Trinity's to lose at this point.)

There you have it. We are heading into the homestretch. Three episodes left and we are doing the makeover episode next week. 

Let me know what you guys thought of this weeks episode. Sad to see Valentina leave? Any ideas on what happened to her? Who are you rooting for? Who are you worried for? Let me know in the comments.