Wednesday, July 10, 2024

"We Used to Be Friends" Re-Watch: "Ain't No Magic Mountain High Enough" & "Versatile Toppings"

 Veronica Mars


We are heading into the home stretch of "Veronica Mars"s second season. And that means we are zeroing in on the season's overarching plot threads like the bus crash and Felix's murder. And with that we are going to get red herrings galore. Let's get to it.


"Ain't No Magic Mountain High Enough"


Ms. Hauser: "What wonderful mountains, Madison!"
Madison Sinclair: "Thank you, Mrs. Hauser!"
Veronica Mars: "Oh, Madison, you have a little..." [rubs her own nose]
Madison Sinclair: [sarcastically] "What? Brown? Because I'm a brown-noser."
Veronica Mars: "No. Glitter. Because you're a fairy princess!"

The senior class is fundraising for their senior trip to Catalina though it feels like the majority of the class wants to go to Magic Mountain. At the Winter Carnival, the cash box is stolen and suspicion immediately falls on Jackie who is dealing with the aftermath of her dad being accused of crashing the bus. Speaking of Terrence Cook, he goes to Keith for help clearing his name.

Jackie's cold.

Sometimes I'm watching something and I am violently reminded that it was made in 2006. And that is what happened to me when I was re-watching this episode. Earlier in the episode, Dick is himself. He confronts Mac and Cassidy, who are on a date, and he humiliates his younger brother. Well, you know Cassidy and Mac aren't going to take that lying down, so they come up with a plan to get revenge and humiliate Dick right back. As Dick is leaving the winter carnival, he is approached by a woman claiming that she is there to pick up her step child. What is it with this season and inappropriate step parents? They start to make out and then Dick emerges from the back of the car he's in with her spitting and freaking out. It is revealed that the woman is trans and that Cassidy and Mac hired her to humiliate Dick. Ugh. It's really unfortunate that in 2006 this was still being done. The implication being that this trans woman was a man masquerading as a woman to trick unsuspecting men like Dick Casablancas into doing gay stuff. It is extremely transphobic. It's pretty disgusting. And it really sours you on the entirety of the episode. It doesn't help that it happens right at the end so that is what you're left with. It's so awful. 

Aside from the blatant transphobia, this episode does give us a few things that are integral to the remainder of the season. We start to see the redemption of Jackie Cook. The show hasn't really known what to do with Jackie since she was introduced which is too bad because they really did get an embarrassment of talent when they cast Tessa Thompson. But the writers didn't really seem to know if they wanted her to be a bitch or if they wanted her to be a friend to Veronica and in this episode they seem to decide to fall on the latter. Jackie is getting treated like shit because everyone immediately believes that her dad is responsible for the bus crash. After Lilly's murder, you'd think they wouldn't be so quick to believe but these are the people of Neptune. When the money goes missing she's immediately accused. But she didn't do it. She's also dunked into a freezing cold dunk tank repeatedly and it's difficult not to root for someone who is shivering and freezing taking slings for something you know isn't true.

Then we have Logan. You'd think that they'd be trying to soften Logan since Duncan is gone and the path seems to clear for them to move Logan back with Veronica. But instead Logan spends his time flirting with a girl named Hannah. And I will say that the episode plays this just right. It feels like they are just introducing this girl to be a barricade to Logan and Veronica getting back together. Another love triangle for them to overcome. And listen. Logan is charming. I don't know how a teenage girl wouldn't be immediately smitten with Logan after watching the charm offensive he deploys on this poor girl. So, it really is a shocker when it's revealed that Hannah's dad is Dr. Griffiths, the man working for the Fitzpatricks who is the eyewitness to Logan supposedly murdering Felix on the bridge.

While this is all happening, Keith is meeting with Terrence Cook. Keith is a Cook super fan and it's kind of adorable watching him gush over the baseball player even as he catches him in lie after life. First it is his relationship with the journalism teacher, Ms. Dumas, who Terrence paints as an obsessed stalker who ruined his relationship with his fiancé. Terrence swears that is his only secret but he doesn't know that Keith knows about his gambling debts that have impacted his own career. Keith eventually drops the bombshell and even though Terrence has lied to him multiple times, Keith agrees to help clear his name because despite all this, he still doesn't believe that Terrence would murder a busload of kids.

Veronica's case-of-the-week, the stolen cashbox, is fine, but feels needless convoluted. The only thing that I could focus on was how fucking terrible Ms. Hauser was. Like, I get that Neptune High is pretty terrible, but the way that Ms. Hauser acts and treats Jackie, in front of the principal, just feels like a caricature. It's almost too much. Like, it's great to see her get what's coming to her and it's great to watch Principal Clemons show that he trusts Veronica, but yeah. Ms. Hauser is wilding out. 

Just to recap the things revealed in this episode in regards the bus crash. Terence threw a ALCS game to pay off his debt. The Fitzpatricks finds out about it and confront him and Ms. Dumas overheard them talking. Veronica finds a paddle in Thumper's locker with license plate numbers engraved on them that she makes a photocopy of.

This wasn't a terrible episode but due to the transphobia I can't rate it any higher than this.

Grade: C

"Versatile Toppings"


Kylie Marker: "Sorry to blow your mind, but I'm a lesbian, Veronica."
Veronica Mars: "Oh. Well... that's cool."
Kylie Marker: "Only when you're in college."

The closeted gay teens of Neptune High are being targeted by a blackmailer and are trying to be forced out of the closet. They get Veronica to help them figure out who is doing it. Keith is working on getting Terrence an alibi for the time the call was made to detonate the bomb on the bus. Logan continues to try to use Hannah to get to her dad.

This girl is going to need so much therapy.

On shows like "Veronica Mars," I think that there are these bit characters that are introduced that you just kind of enjoy. They aren't anything special. They aren't in every single episode, but they are just fun and they put a smile on your face. For me, that character on "Veronica Mars" is Corny. He's a stereotypical dimwitted stoner who pops up to say a funny one liner. He was in the last episode to be the peanut gallery to Weevil when they are talking about wanting to go to Magic Mountain. When I saw him in the cold open getting tased while delivering pizzas, I was upset because who would dare, but I was happy because that gave him a bigger role in this episode than he had had in previous ones. I wasn't upset about that. He's still a bit player in this episode, but he's fun. And brings some lightness to the proceedings. 

The "Veronica Mars" guest star parade continues. Kristen Cavallari is very of the time. In 2006, "Laguna Beach" and "The Hills" were extremely popular and she was one of the first major reality television stars of the time. It's not shocking to see her show up on one of the most popular, buzzworthy teen shows of the time. Casting her as a cheerleader feels like typecasting, but casting her as a teenage lesbian feels less like typecasting. Cavallari is basically playing herself here, which is fine. You don't have to re-invent the wheel when you're a stunt cast. She's extremely charming which is good, because she's kind of a piece of shit. It's revealed that she is the blackmailer. She does it to force her girlfriend out of the closet because she doesn't want to be out alone. And she's fine with going after some of the other gay students because they are masking to try to make it through high school. How dare they?

Speaking of those other students, one that Kylie has no issue blackmailing is Lucas Grabeel's Kelly Kuzzio. Kelly is kind of a tool. You see him at the beginning of the episode roasting Dick for making out with the trans woman at the end of the last episode. It's extremely telegraphed that he is going to be one of the gay kids. His user name basically gives it away and his story about being mugged and his rims stolen is clearly made up. Honestly, a lot of queer kids in high school do exactly what Kelly is doing and Kylie is doing something similar until she decides she wants to live openly no matter the cost for all the other queer kids at Neptune. God. She really is the worst.

Logan continues his seduction of Hannah to get close to her dad. I feel bad for Hannah because she's just extremely sweet. And here comes Logan. Suddenly she's a pawn not only for Logan but her dad when he decides to tell her part of the truth about Logan and the night that Felix died. Logan tells her about her dad's debt with the Fitzpatricks and wouldn't ya know it, when Hannah searches their caller ID there are calls from Fitzpatricks and from their bar, the River Stix. This guy is not great at hiding things and Hannah is basically oblivious? I get it. This is not a hardboiled crime drama. It's a teen detective show. But the way that this goes makes me chuckle.

Keith continues to help Terrence and I couldn't care less about any of this. We all know that he is not responsible for the bus crash because we have like seven episodes to go until the finale and they aren't going to give up the culprit this soon. I don't care bout his gambling addiction and it feels like we are treading water. The big reveal that Veronica finds explosives and detonators at the hangar that the Cook's keep their cars at is big, but I think we all know its not big because it points to Terrence's guilt.

Grade: B-

Next up, Wallace's girlfriend needs Veronica's help finding her sister after she flees her wedding and Veronica's ex boyfriend Troy has been accused of rape on the Hearst College campus.

What did you all think? Is it too obvious that Terrence is not the bus bomber? Did "Veronica Mars" really fumble the ball with their two queer storylines? Let me know in the comments.




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