Into the DC Murderverse: The Flash

 "The Flash" (2023)

"The Flash" may be the most troubled superhero production since "Iron Man" brought the genre back into the spotlight in 2008. Ezra Miller's Barry Allen was introduced in "Justice League" and it was immediately green lit along with Jason Momoa's first "Aquaman." It gained and lost writers and directors like it was someone on a fad diet in the '90's. Once it finally had a writer and director that stuck around, Ezra Miller went insane. There were millions of dollars spent on re-shoots. I honestly was shocked when it was finally released. I thought it would just get a quiet streaming release, but no, Warner Bros. had to try to recoup some of the money they spent so it was put in theaters last summer. And it did what it seems all DCEU movies are destined to do in theaters: flop.

Principal photography on "The Flash" began in April 2021 and concluded in October 2021. The film stars Ezra Miller as Barry Allen/The Flash, Sasha Calle as Kara Zor-El/Supergirl, Michael Shannon as General Zod, Ron Livingston as Henry Allen, Maribel Verdu as Nora Allen, Kiersey Clemons as Iris West,  Antje Traue as Faora-Ul and Michael Keaton as Bruce Wayne/Batman. The screenplay was by Christina Hodson from a story by John Francis Daley, Jonathan Goldstein and Joby Harold. It was directed by Andy Muschietti. "The Flash" premiered on June 16, 2023.

Ugh.

Oh man. This movie. After I subjected myself to this in theaters, I really didn't think that I'd ever watch it again. I contemplated just skipping it. But, even though I am primarily doing this for myself, I wanted my record of the Murderverse to be complete. So, I couldn't bring myself to skip it. I celebrated the 4th of July by re-watching this movie, which kind of makes sense in a weird way. When you look at the state of America right now, watching "The Flash" to celebrate? I bet you can see it.

I will say that I am not going to spend a lot of time on this movie. If you haven't seen it and you are on the fence, I'd say, you shouldn't. It's pretty terrible. Read the Wiki synopsis if you really want to know. It's not worth it. It's not going to have any bearing on the James Gunn DC universe that will be starting up next year. If you're looking for a good live-action Flash story watch like the first two seasons of the CW show. But you should keep reading this.

I am going to hammer this "movie," so let's start with the good things. Sasha Calle is great as Kara Zor-El. It's a Supergirl that we haven't seen in live-action before. It's completely different than Helen Slater's or Melissa Benoist's interpretation of the character. This is a Kara that was found by Russians when her pod crashed, not kindly Kansas farmers. She's hard as steel but she's still compassionate. She really goes hard on those Russian soldiers which is one of the coolest action scenes in the movie. But when she's back at Wayne Manor, she lets her guard down and seems to really bound quickly with the Barry's and with Bruce. She's ready to go toe to toe with Zod to protect a planet that up to this point hasn't been very good to her. This is definitely House of El behavior. I'd love for them to find a way to bring her back into the Gunn DCEU.

I'm Batman.

One of the first movies that I remember seeing in a theater was the first Michael Keaton "Batman" movie directed by Tim Burton. I remember sitting in the theater at six years old and just being transported. It's probably the reason that I love superheroes and comic books and one of the reasons I will be a forever Batman fan. When I found out that Michael Keaton would be reprising his role as Bruce Wayne/Batman for the first time since "Batman Returns" in 1992, I knew that I had to see this movie. There s no way that I couldn't. And, honestly, Keaton is hands down, the only reason that you should watch this movie, particularly, if like me, Keaton's Batman is a massive part of your childhood.

Sometimes a character shows up and just completely changes the energy of a film or a play or whatever and that is exactly what happens when Keaton appears onscreen. The movie is a huge drag and feels like it's going nowhere, but then Michael Keaton shows up as a Bruce Wayne that shifts. When we first meet him, he's a long haired, bearded recluse that has given up his role as Gotham's protector. He easily lets the Barry's have it. We all know that it won't be long until he's back in the Batsuit and helping the Barry's with their quest.

There's really something about seeing Keaton back in the Batsuit and portraying Batman in a way that we didn't see when he originally played the character. The Burton Batman wasn't the like badass fighter that we have come to see from future Batman. I think a lot of that had to do with limited mobility in the suit. It wasn't how action worked in comic book movies back then. So, watching Michael Keaton's Batman swoop down and flip around and whoop ass made that six year old whoop with joy. For those brief moments, I was able to forget that I was watching a sub par "Flash" movie and really just revel in that joy which I think is what really good comic book movies evoke in people of all ages.

Well, we've reached the end of the good things about this movie. It's time to start ripping it to pieces. I think we can start with the story. The plot of "The Flash" is loosely based on the comic event "Flashpoint" that ended up re-booting the DC comics universe in 2011. When Barry Allen goes back in time to prevent his mother from being murdered and his father from taking the fall, things go awry. This has become such a touchstone plot that we've seen it. "The Flash" television series has done multiple takes on it and because of that, this left me pretty cold right from the start. Especially since the movie doesn't really do much to make their take on it unique, palatable or entertaining.

Girl of Steel.

Not only do they re-use this same tired "Flashpoint" plot, but they decide to re-hash the plot of "Man of Steel." Zod and the other Kryptonians show up and because of Barry's time meddling there are no metahumans to take on Zod hence why they have to free Supergirl from the gulag. Is this what anyone wanted? A re-hash of "Man of Steel?" Is anyone, aside from diehard Snyder bros, wistful for the halcyon days of "Man of Steel?" I am pretty sure the answer to that is hell no.

Then there is the character of Barry Allen himself. He is the worst. Amping up his social awkwardness and most annoying characteristics is not the way to make audiences care about him. And he's already working at a deficit because people are not feeling Ezra Miller at all. The question is: how do you solve a problem like the main character in your movie being the most unlikable character in the movie? Well, the writers of "The Flash" decided to introduce a younger version of the character that is even more annoying than the primary one! How does that make sense? I really think they are being like meta, but just because you are letting the audience in on the fact that you know your main character is the worst doesn't change anything. It doesn't make you want to root for OG Barry. And it doesn't make him any less annoying. You just have two versions of the same awful character running around making everyone miserable.

The action sequences in this movie are so bad. The one at the start of the movie really makes no sense. It adds nothing to the movie itself. It doesn't explain anything about who Barry is. It feels like just a cheap way to bring Ben Affleck's Batman and Gal Gadot's Wonder Woman into the film. They are cheap cameos that again bring nothing into the movie whatsoever. The final fight sequence is just bloated, bad effects laden superhero action at its worse. It's so generic. There don't feel like there are any stakes at all. It's not fun to watch. It's really just beige.

That leads us to the VFX in this movie. They are the worst that I've ever seen in a modern superhero movie. I know that they were throwing money at this movie for re-shoots and things, but none of that money must have gone to the effects. I don't think there are words for me to describe how bad they are. The babies that Flash saves in the beginning of the movie are nightmare fuel. They are my new sleep paralysis demons. Whe Barry is inside the Speed Force, it legit looks like I am somehow playing a PS2 video game. They are so freaking bad. The cameos that are at the end of Christopher Reeve and Helen Slater and Nicolas Cage as various incarnation of the DC heroes that they've played. It's almost disrespectful. If I were these people or the families of these people, I'd sue them. Honestly, it's disgusting. I don't know who watched the dailies and then the finished reel and thought, this is a good idea.

This movie just sucks. I feel bad for Kiersey Clemons. Iris West is basically a non entity. The stingers that end the movie are meh. Just when it looks like Barry has put everything back to rights, Bruce Wayne shows up and it's George Clooney! The post credits scene is Barry telling a drunk Arthur Curry about what happened. Who cares? Let's just leave it at that. Who cares?

Next up, we meet Jaime Reyes aka the Blue Beetle.

What do you all think? Does anyone like this movie? And if you do, why? I'd really love to know. Let me know in the comments if you think this is a good movie.