Buffy the Vampire Slayer
These episodes see the introduction of some iconic "Buffy" characters. We get Spike and Drusilla, Oz and the rest of Dingoes Ate My Baby and even Jonathan. Let's get to it.
"School Hard"
Principal Snyder: "A lot of educators tell students, "Think of your principal as your pal." I say, "Think of me as your judge, jury and executioner." Tell me, who do you think is the most troublesome student in this school?"
[Sheila and Buffy look at one another]
Principal Snyder: "Well it is quite a match between you two. One the one hand, Buffy hasn't stabbed a horticulture teacher with a trowel."
Sheila Martini: "I didn't stab no one with a trowel. They were pruning shears."
Principal Snyder: "On the other hand, Sheila has never burnt down a school building."
Buffy Summers: "Well that was never proven. The fire marshal said it-it coulda been mice."
Principal Snyder: "Mice."
Buffy Summers: "Mice that were smoking?"
Principal Snyder has had it with troubled students, Buffy and Sheila Martin. He puts them in charge of putting together parent/teacher night at Sunnydale High, threatening them with expulsion if things go wrong. This is terrible timing for Buffy. That Saturday is Night of St. Vigous, the night where a vampire's powers are at their peak. The Anointed One decrees that whoever kills the Slayer will take the Master's place. Enter Spike and Drusilla. Spike says that he will kill the Slayer and based on the lore surrounding him and the fact that he claims to have killed two Slayers, it seems like he might be able to do it. Will Buffy be able to stop Spike and stop from getting expelled?
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| Parents night. |
The primary headline of this episode is the introduction of William the Bloody aka Spike. James Marsters's bleached blonde, Billy Idol-esque vampire is iconic. Love him or hate him, you can't deny that Spike has become an integral part of the "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" lore. It's easy to see why Spike became a fan favorite. His introduction to Sunnydale driving over the "Welcome to Sunnydale" sign is a scene that all "Buffy" fans remember and one that will be re-visited later in the series.
Marsters is so good as Spike. He is chock full of charisma. And for the longest time, I didn't realize that he wasn't British. Spike is scary, but he's also funny. I think that is something that has been missing from the vampires on "Buffy" up to this point. They are just extremely generic, but you can't say that about Spike. We get bits and pieces of the Spike lore and I like how they spend the majority of the episode beefing him up. Angel is worried. Spike killed two Slayers, which Giles confirmed. That's legit distressing. Spike isn't The Master. For all intents and purposes, he's just a regular vampire. So, the fact that he's taken out two Slayer's on his own is cause for concern for our hero.
You can't have Spike without Drusilla. Juliet Landau matches James Marsters. They are a perfect pair. "Buffy's" own Sid and Nancy. Dru is crazy and not just like homicidal crazy like a normal vampire, but legitimately fucking bat shit insane. Dru has visions. Speaks in this creepy sing songy voice and in riddles. She has creepy Victorian dolls that she thinks are real and keeps gagged. Landau leans into this fully. She and Marsters have insane chemistry. Chemistry you can't fake. I love the moment where Dru cuts Spike's cheek with her fingernail and then licks it off. It is so cool and disturbing and amazing. It's one of the images that I immediately think of when I think of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer."
You have to really feel for Buffy. She just can't seem to catch a break. Ever since Buffy came to Sunnydale there has been talk of how it's a fresh start for her, yet hardly anyone actually seems willing to give her that fresh start. Principal Snyder is still bringing up Buffy burning down the gym. He even mentions that before the fighting which happened in Sunnydale. And Joyce isn't much better. I love Joyce, I do, but during the first half of the episode she's not winning any parenting awards. It feels like she is consistently rubbing Buffy's nose in her mistakes. You know, we had to move here and I had to start a whole new career because of YOU. I'd hate to be disappointed in you again. It just doesn't feel like a way to motivate your daughter to do better. Giles isn't helping, either. He seems a little too unconcerned about Buffy potentially getting expelled.
Things take a turn when Spike and his gang of vampires attack parent/teacher night, not wanting to wait until the Night of St. Vigeous. Joyce finally gets to see that her daughter is a capable, brave, strong woman not a delinquent getting into fights for no reason and burning down school buildings willy nilly. Joyce really wins back a lot of the goodwill she lost in the beginning of this episode in the back half. She stands up to Principal Snyder and she recognizes that Buffy is pretty awesome. I do think its a little strange that Joyce doesn't question more how cool, calm and collected that Buffy is during all of this. She doesn't seem like upset or concerned enough that Buffy seems to be totally fine during all of this.
The episode drops a few nuggets that will continue to bear fruit throughout the series. After things calm down, Principal Snyder and a cop talk about how they can't tell people the truth about what happened so gangs on PCP it is. Spike kills the Anointed One at the end of the episode. We learn that Angel is Spike's sire. This is apropos of nothing but what ever happened to Sheila Martini? She gets turned and flees when she sees Buffy stake one of her new vampire buddies and then we never see her again. Also, was she going to have a three way with those two dudes that Spike kills outside the Bronze? Go girl.
Grade: A-
"Inca Mummy Girl"
Buffy Summers: "Come on! Can't you put your foot down?"
Rupert Giles: "It is down."
Buffy Summers: "One of these days you're going to have get a grown-up car."
During a trip to a museum, an ancient Incan mummy princess is released. She ends up draining the life out of and taking the place of Ampata, the foreign exchange student staying with the Summers. Xander immediately falls head over heels for "Ampata" and she seems to feel the same. But she continues to try to drain the lives of people to stay alive. Will Xander be able to escape his new girlfriend?
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| Besos. |
This whole episode is basically just one long extended version of Xander being the absolute work. I get that Xander is a teenage boy and teenage boys are pretty disgusting. I was a teenage boy once upon a time and I was not great. But Xander feels like a million times worse than most teenage boys. His obsession with Buffy isn't funny or cute. It's disturbing. Like, she has made it clear multiple times that she is not interested at all. She's actively pursuing someone else in front of him. She'd rather date a vampire than him for God's sake. Willow even makes a point that Xander's dogged, disgusting of Buffy never made her upset or jealous because she knew Xander didn't stand a chance. Xander initially is all for the student exchange program. Cultures mixing and all that. Then he finds out that Ampata is a boy and he hates it and thinks that Ampata is going to prey on Buffy just like he tries to do.
Then, Xander meets "Ampata" and he immediately does to her what he thought the real Ampata was going to do to Buffy. He latches on to her like a barnacle. And we'll talk about it a lot, but the way Xander treats Willow is the worst. Their amazing friendship is a cornerstone of the show, but it's hard to take seriously sometimes. Remember, Xander and Willow almost kissed in the premiere, but Xander seems to forget about this. He just seems to knowingly shit on Willow every chance he gets. He clearly knows that Willow likes him because that's the reason he wants to go to the dance with Buffy and Willow to make it seem like it's not a date. But he's not man enough or friend enough to actually have a real conversation with her.
"Inca Mummy Girl" continues a tradition that began in "Teacher's Pet" where Xander continuously falls in love with monsters. It makes sense. Who else would find Xander charming but someone who hadn't seen a boy in 500 years? It's the only way that Xander would have a chance with a pretty girl. She'd have to be a humanoid praying mantis or a mummy that is sucking the life out of people.
This episode introduces the famous Sunnydale High band, Dingoes Ate My Baby. Devon, the lead singer, is dating Cordelia, but the important person is lead guitarist Oz played by Seth Green. Oz plays a big part in "Buffy" history and I won't spoil what happens just in case there is someone here watching the show for the first time. But it's pretty clear that he is smitten with our dear Willow. Dingoes is playing the culture dance. I love that Sunnydale High is having a culture dance. It feels like something a primarily white California high school would have that is wildly tone deaf. Oz spots Willow in her traditional Eskimo gear and immediately wants to know more about her. This really endures Oz to viewers right away because I think we can all agree that Willow is amazing.
The rest of this episode is OK. It feel like an amalgamation of episodes that we've seen before. I mentioned "Teacher's Pet," but we also have a little bit of "The Pack" mixed in. We have delinquent Rodney trying to steal "Ampata's" seal for some reason and that releases here. This is a pretty generic plot line and is kind of ho hum. They try to make some parallels between Buffy's destiny as the Slayer and "Ampata's" destiny to be sacrificed against her will but it really doesn't work for me. The same could be said for the final speech that Xander has with Buffy. They are really going to milk that Xander gave Buffy CPR, huh? Great.
Grade: C
Next up, Buffy and Cordelia go to a frat party where things go awry and then the gang celebrates Halloween.
What did you all think? Where are my Spike fans at? Did you go on a journey with Joyce in "School Hard?" Are there any Xander fans out there? Let me know in the comments.
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