"Hated and Feared" Re-Watch: "Storm Front" Parts 1 & 2

 X-Men

"Storm Front" is another two-parter that pulls quite a bit from a past comic. In this case it is "King-Size X-Men Annual" #5. It introduced Arkon to the world of the X-Men and he had a relationship of sorts with Storm. Let's get to it.

"Storm Front" Part 1

Jubilee: "Radical landing."

Wolverine: "Oh yeah, almost like old bug eye knew what he was doing."

Earth is experiencing crazy, unnatural weather and it is really affecting Storm. She tries to tame it and ends up meeting Arkon, the ruler of the planet Polemachus from another dimension. Arkon kidnaps Storm. When they get to Polemachus, he tells Storm he needs her help and her connection to the elements to save his planet from destruction. Despite being taken against her will, Storm agrees to help and eventually falls in love, agreeing to marry Arkon, much to the shock of her teammates.

This fucking guy.

If there is a character that the writers of "X-Men: The Animated Series" seem to hate more than Jean Grey, it is Ororo Munroe. For a character that is so integral to the team in the comics, she is routinely treated like an afterthought. She disappears for episodes with no explanation. She was left behind for no apparent reason when the X-Men went to space during the Phoenix Saga. Whenever she does have episodes that are supposed to highlight her, they do her a disservice. She's either comatose or a puppet for most of them like she was in the "Savage Land, Strange Heart" two-parter. Or she's being extremely awful and is seemingly ok with a Morlock child dying like in the Christmas episode. Storm has not had great luck here and spoiler alert, these two episodes don't change it.

Storm is acting wild in this episode. Not as much as in the next episode, which we'll get to, but she is not at her best here. She spends a lot of this episode like wailing and freaking out. Flying around spouting soliloquies about different weather stuff. Busting out of the Blackbird, unconcerned with if her teammates get sucked out the side door or die because the plane is going to crash. She asks hardly any questions when Arkon shows up to her. He's clearly lying to her. He's manufactured this weather to get to her. And she seems fine with it? And why does he pick her up? Why doesn't she struggle at all? Fight back? She just goes with him. 

Things get even weirder between Storm and Arkon when they get to Polemachus. She's really easily convinced by Arkon to help out. Arkon fully tells her that central energy transmitter is causing this wild weather that is destroying his planet. She is like, why don't I destroy that and he's like no, definitely can't do that. That is suspicious as fuck. And yet, Storm just lets it go. She's like, sure I won't destroy that thing that could easily fix this, instead I'll tax myself and my powers to the brink of death and during all this I'll fall in love with you and accept your marriage proposal at the end of the episode. What is happening here? Is Storm being mind controlled? Please tell me Storm is being mind controlled.

Otherwise, there really isn't a ton that happens in this episode. It's all set up. Cyclops, Wolverine, Beast and Jubilee make it to Polemachus and are immediately accosted by Polemachuns who believe the mutants are the cause of the bad weather. A call back joke a "Friends of Humanity" member saying the same thing about the Earth weather. I say, joke, but it's not really funny. Then, they fight off these really janky, poorly designed robots and end up in shock over their friend's quickie engagment.

Grade: D

"Storm Front" Part 2

Arkon: "Polemachus' destiny will not be stopped by a scrap of paper!"

Storm and Arkon are engaged, but things are not quite right with Ororo's dream guy. There is cruelty and slavery. Can her friends convince her this guy is not right for her?

Jubilee is the voice of reason. Think on that.

What in the actual fuck, you all? What is this? Why does it exist? Can we pretend it doesn't? Remember when I said that I hoped that Storm was being mind controlled by Arkon sometime. That I spent this entire episode hoping and praying that there was going to be a reveal that Storm was being controlled by this dude, but friends, that did not happen. Storm was truly in love with this guy. Storm. A Kenyan woman who was once worshipped as a goddess fell in love with a nationalistic, despotic slaver. Like, legit fell in love with him. Not controlled. Love this man. To the point, where she is like sobbing at the end of the episode over it when she leaves him. How did we get here? Is it too late to find Brooks Wachtel and find out why in the fuck he wrote this steaming pile of shit and why he would do this to one of the best comic book characters of all time?

This episode is wild, you all. Like, I feel like if I just described what happens to someone who was an X-Men fan and they'd never seen it, I'm sure they would think I was a liar. Arkon is an obvious bad guy. There are so many signs. I mean, let's just forget that Arkon manipulated Storm and lied to her to get her to Polemachus. But since she's been there, he's been legitimately awful. One of the slaves comes to where she and Jubilee are having fun and playing dress up, Jubilee crashes into her and this servant freaks the fuck out in the way that someone who was enslaved definitely would. And Storm is like, concerned, but not as concerned as she should be.  It gets better... or worse? Arkon like smacks this servant in front of Storm, threatens her. Storm is upset but completely buys the bullshit that Arkon feeds her. He swears he'll be better and she's fine. When Jubilee brings up that something is not right with Arkon, Storm basically says the equivalent of "No, it's fine. I can change him." She can change the slaver. She has the power! There is a big issue when Jubilee is the voice of reason.

They are trying to act like Storm knows that Arkon is a bad guy deep down but is ignoring it. But that to me, just makes it worse. It's not like she's ignoring that he's rude to wait staff or a bad person, he's literally enslaving person and she is African!! Like, this is so fucked up on so many levels. Who thought this was a good idea, I ask you good people again. When the guys show up and proclaim he's a slaver, Storm is SHOCKED that he is and is lying to her when she has seen multiple examples of both of these things. And how does Storm respond to all this? Does she lay into Arkon. Nope. She decides that she is going to rage out and kill a lot of innocent people. Because that is the rational way to react when you find out that the dude who kidnapped you, that you got engaged to after two days is a slaver. Like she's fully going to destroy this planet over Arkon? I can't. I won't. I never thought I'd say this, but thank god for Jubilee talking her down.

At least she destroys the transmitter and basically frees the slaves before she heads back the school to mourn this relationship with Arkon. Seriously. She's crying over it at the end. I hate everything about this. Have I said that? There's really no reason to talk about what Beast, Cyclops and Wolverine are up to throughout this episode. And the less said about Wolverine thinking Storm is accepting this because she misses being a goddess the better.

Honestly, this abomination should be removed from streaming. Scrubbed completely from the internet. It's garbage, mama.

Grade: F-

Next up, Fabian Cortez kidnaps Jubilee to help Apocalypse escape the astral plane and Jubilee tells stories to kids trapped in a cave-in

Wow. No one can like these episodes, right? No one in their right mind would think these were good? Please commiserate with me in the comments.