Star Wars The Clone Wars
I really love it when they change the color of the logo for the show. It really looks nice blue, don't you all think? Well, let's get right into these episodes. We can get them over with. Let's go.
"Secret Weapons," Season Five, Episode 10
"Humility is the only defense against humiliation."
Narrator: "Secret transmission intercepted. The Jedi Council has intercepted an encoded transmission of General Grievous; however, Republic intelligence officers have failed to crack the new encryption code being used by the droids. Fears escalate that the Separatists are about to mount a major offensive. Having located the source of the transmission deep in Separatist space, the Jedi plan a counterstrike to capture an enemy decoding chip which will allow them to understand the transmission and thwart the Separatist plan..."
The Jedi create a team of droids to infiltrate the Separatist dreadnought and retrieve the encryption code. It consists of R2-D2, QT-KT, U9-C4, M5-BZ and WAC-47. They are led by Colonel Meebur Gascon, a condescending Zilkin. After receiving upgrades, Gascon believes this mission will be a walk in the park but things take a turn pretty quickly once they are onboard and discovered. Gascon's attitude towards droids and WAC-47's desire to lead aren't helping things.
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| D-Squad. |
I was definitely nervous about this four episode arc when I realized that it was going to be droid focused. I was really hopeful that my feelings would be unfounded, but sadly, they were not. These episodes are super weak and they were a struggle to get through. I don't have a ton to say about them, so this is going to be a quick read. So if you're into that, congratulations!
One of the main issues with this arc is that the characters are super annoying. WAC-47 is basically a droid version of Jar Jar Binks. He's walking into things. He's calling Gascon by different ranks other than what it is. They hammer home that he is only there because he's the pilot, but he's a pretty terrible pilot. He decides to just put their shuttle on a collision course with the dreadnought. What an amazing pilot.
These droids are so inept that I can't imagine any reason why they were picked to be on this team. It sounds like they were all droids that belonged to Jedi so that somehow made them the right droids for this mission? Like, R2 is the only droid that is competent. It doesn't make sense why he isn't leading D-Squad. My best guess is that they don't have him as the leader because you can't understand what he's saying. But I actually think that would have maybe elevated these episodes, if they were just about these astromechs and there wasn't a ton of dialogue. It could have been really cool and different.
There are a few decent moments. I don't think anyone is shocked to know that Gascon is not the war hero he purports to be. This is the first real mission he's ever been on. I thought it was nice that the droids stuck up for themselves against his constant demeaning, even if that doesn't last.
There isn't a ton of action in this episode, which is too bad because a good action sequence can save even the most mediocre "The Clone Wars" episode. The anti-grav fight is fun, but it's not enough. R2 is, of course, able to retrieve the encryption disk and the droids escape. And we have three more episodes of this. Cool, cool, cool.
Grade: D+
"A Sunny Day in the Void," Season Five, Episode 11
"When all seems hopeless, a true hero gives hope."
Narrator: "Secret weapons! The Jedi Council deploys a squad of droids on a desperate mission aboard a Separatist cruiser. Under the guidance of Colonel Meebur Gascon, the droids succeed in stealing a crucial encryption module. Now the Colonel and his droid squad must return the module to the Jedi Temple to crack a Separatist code detailing an impending terror plot against the Republic..."
D-Squad thinks they are in the clear when they reach hyperspace but things take a turn when they get caught in a storm of comets. The ship crashes on the desolate planet of Abafar. The crew start wandering the vast wasteland that they call the Void. When Gascon starts to lose his cool, will the mission fail?
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| Gascon is unhinged. |
Seriously, how many desert-like planets are there in the galaxy. I swear that we are always going to a new one and I just want to see some diversity. These deserts feel no different than the deserts of Tatooine. R2 even mentions at the end of the episode how it reminds him of Tatooine. Like, that's bad. Why can't we just give these desert planets a rest. They are the absolute worst and I'm over it.
Man, I just keep thinking about these episodes and how they would have played out if they were populated with characters that we actually cared about. I think about that scene in hyperspace and how I would have felt differently if it was like Obi-Wan, Anakin or Ahsoka. There just doesn't feel like there are any stakes. I don't care about any of these droids except for R2. So, it doesn't really matter at all. I was kind of hoping that one of the other droids would end up becoming scrap because it would have given these episodes tangible consequences.
The majority of this episode is just the droids wandering the Void. Gascon sputtering nonsense. R2 not listening. And WAC-47 saying a lot of times that Gascon should kill himself. Seriously, there are a lot of suicide jokes. Way too many. And I'm not going to make any excuses or say that it was a different time because suicide jokes aren't ever funny. They are just terrible.
It feels like this episode is trying to teach some lesson about training vs programming but it feels like the big lesson is going to be that following your instincts once Gascon and WAC-47 grabbing the birds and letting them lead to the settlement. But then when they get there, they find that the other four droids have gotten there first, so what is the point?
Again, there are some cool concepts in this episode that I think would have been amazing if this episode wasn't all these lame droids.
Grade: D
"Missing in Action," Season Five, Episode 12
"A solider's most powerful weapon is courage."
Narrator: "Stranded! On a secret mission for the Republic, Colonel Gascon and his intrepid droid squad successfully steal an encryption module from a Separatist ship. During their escape, our heroes crash on the Outer Rim planet of Abafar and find themselves stranded in the strange wasteland called the Void. Now, after surviving against all odds, our heroes must find a way home and deliver the encryption module to crack the Separatist code and stop an enemy attack..."
In the seedy town Pons Ora, D-Squad is still trying to get off planet and back to the Republic. They find out that there is a Separatist presence on the planet. Gascon makes the executive decision to commandeer the shuttle that the battle droids are using. They stumble upon an amnesiac Clone commando named Gregor and enlist his help in getting them on to the shuttle.
I feel like it is a known fact that I enjoy a Clone trooper that has fallen out for whatever reason. There was that episode where they found the deserter who was raising a family on an Outer Rim planet. That was a great episode so when Gregor shows up behind the diner and catches Gascon eating garbage, my hopes where high that this might be the first watchable episode of this four episode arc. And you know what, I was right.
Gregor is a breath of fresh air. His backstory is maybe the most compelling thing in this quartet of episodes, which is kind of sad. They don't belabor it. I think the way they jog his memory makes sense with R2 flashing a hologram of Captain Rex that makes him start to remember. We learn that Gregor was part of an elite Clone commando troop that was all thought to have been killed at the Battle of Sarrish. The Battle was one of the Republic's biggest losses during the Clone Wars. I really would have loved to have seen some sort of flashback to this. It's such a huge battle, it would have been cool to have seen some of it.
We finally get some solid action in this arc when Gregor takes on the battle droids. I really enjoy Gregor's armor. His helmet is really cool and I loved all the tally marks of kills that covered it's surface. Gregor quickly gets back into battle, maybe a little too quickly, but I'll forgive it. It's quick paced which is nice because these episodes have been kind of a drag. And when Gregor sacrifices himself, it got me. I'm not going to lie.
This episode still suffers from the same issues as the others in this arc. Whenever Gregor isn't around, its a snooze. And the droids and Gascon aren't getting any better as characters. You know that you have a week arc when Borkus, the diner owner gaslighting Gregor, is the most intimidating villain we've encountered in three episodes.
Grade: B-
"Point of No Return," Season Five, Episode 13
"You must trust in others or success is impossible."
Narrator: "Mission accomplished! Colonel Gascon and his droid squad steal an encryption module needed to crack a Separatist code and stop an impending attack on the Republic. After surviving The Void and escaping the hostile planet of Abafar, our heroes finally appear to be headed in the right direction..."
D-Squad makes it onto the Jedi Starcruiser only to find it basically deserted. They reach the command center which looks to be bustling with activity only to find that this is a hologram. The crew has been killed and the Starcruiser has been commandeered by battle droids. They have built a bomb out of a volatile fuel called Rhydonium they were mining on Abafar and plan on using the Starcruiser as a bomb they have pointed at the Republic Strategy Conference which is being attended by the Jedi Council and high level Republic military personnel. It's up to D-Squad to stop this from happening.
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| *in my Beavis voice* FIRE! |
We have finally reached the end of the D-Squad arc and I'm pretty happy about it. This final episode continues the upswing that started with the previous episode. There is actually a credible threat here for the squad to take on. I do think it's a little strange that in the middle of a war, all the military leadership of one side would congregate in the same place without more security protocols? It's no wonder the Republic eventually loses this war. Er... spoiler alert?
It's difficult for me to get over how dumb Gascon is. I really hate this character. He might be my least favorite "The Clone Wars" character that the show has introduced. He's an idiot. He doesn't grow at all. And he's one of the only characters in this four episode arc that talks that you can understand. It's a travesty that the two main speaking characters, Gascon and WAC-47, are the most annoying. I feel like the writer of these episodes is just trying to terrorize us. But seriously, there's no realistic reason that Gascon would take this empty Starcruiser as a good sign or not be on guard when no one shows up immediately to greet them.
Rather than just detail why I don't like this episode, I'm just going to talk about the few things that work. The sequence with the buzz droids is pretty cool. We get to see R2 really think fast when he makes a circle of oil and sets it on fire to keep them at bay. I do think that BZ's sacrifice injected some much needed drama into this episode thought at this point I feel like it's too little too late.
The explosion of the Jedi Starcruiser is maybe one of the coolest visuals of this entire arc. Though I feel like that blast would have done a lot more damage that close to all those ships. And, I kind of wish it wouldn't have been R2 that looked to be sacrificed because we all know that he was going to be OK. If it had been any other part of D-Squad, then the dramatic tension would have been much higher. Oh man, I said I was going to say stuff I liked... um... it was nice to see Anakin and Obi-Wan.
Well, we did it, Joe. We made it through these episodes. Let's all just pretend they never happened.
Grade: C
Next up, we finally get back to Savage Oppress and Darth Maul.
What do you all think? Did anyone like these episodes? They were super low rated on iMDB so I don't think so, but if you did, let me know in the comments.
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