Star Wars The Clone Wars
I'm not going to lie to you all. These are not the strongest episodes of "The Clone Wars." They feel like the most kid centric ones, so if you're not into that, you're probably not going to get a ton of mileage out of them. But let's get into it.
"Shadow Warrior," Season Four, Episode 5
"Who a person truly is cannot be seen with the eye."
Narrator: "As war continues to fracture the galaxy, planets become pawns in a dangerous chess game. One planet in peril is Naboo, where suffering and civil unrest threaten once friendly relations between the people on the surface and the underwater dwelling Gungans. Rumors that the Gungans plan to aid the Separatists in an attack on Theed, force Senator Padmé Amidala home, accompanied by Jedi General Anakin Skywalker..."
Boss Lyonie is getting Gungan warriors to attack Theed when Anakin and Padmé arrive. Anakin quickly realizes that Lyonie is being manipulated by Risha Loo, who is working with Count Dooku. When Lyonie confronts Risha, he is stabbed and Risha escapes. It turns out that Jar Jar Binks is the spitting image of Boss Lyonie. It's up to Jar Jar to stop the attack on Theed.
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| This fucking guy. |
This episode, much like any episode that has Jar Jar Binks as the focal point, is kind of ridiculous and all over the place. I know that the Separatists are trying to get everyone they can on their side, but the Gungans, really? OK.
The tone of this episode is kind of all over the place as well. Civil war between the Gungans and the Naboo would be bad. Though, it would have been nice if there had been some idea that this conflict was brewing. It kind of seems to come out of nowhere. So, Boss Lyonie goes and confronts Risha Loo, and then he ends up being stabbed and left near death. Serious! Also, why didn't Padmé try to stop Risha Loo when he ran by her. She had that blaster and didn't even fire off a shot. Then, apparently all it takes is Jar Jar putting on Lyonie's headpiece for them to realize they are the spitting image of each other. I can't.
So, we get a little montage of Jar Jar ineptly impersonating Boss Lyonie. General Grievous shows up. This is really all over the place. We are supposed to be laughing one minute and then things take another serious turn when General Tarpals sacrifices himself to take down Grievous. I figured that was the end of the episode. The battle was averted. Grievous is in custody so maybe we are going to start a little arc about Grievous' capture. Then, I realized that there was still like ten more minutes left of the episode.
It cuts to Anakin pursuing Risha Loo. Loo gets killed by Dooku because of course he does. Then, Dooku captures Anakin to use him as a bargaining chip to get Grievous back. Cut to Padmé, who is actually prepared to make the correct choice. She is going to leave Anakin to Dooku and take Grievous back to the Republic to potentially end the war. But then, Lyonie and Jar Jar say some nonsense that just sort of all boils down to... friendship? and Padmé acts like a dumb dumb and makes the trade. Good times.
Grade: D
"Mercy Mission," Season Four, Episode 5
"Understanding is honoring the truth beneath the surface."
Narrator: "Global crisis! The Mid-Rim planet of Aleen is devastated by catastrophic earthquakes. As the people struggle, the future of the survivors rests on their ability to rekindle their way of life from the rubble of the past. A Jedi transport, on a mission to block Separatist annexation of the Qiilura system, is waylaid to provide desperately needed humanitarian relief to the people on the surface of Aleen..."
General Plo Koon's Clone battalion spearheads the relief efforts on Aleen along with droids, R2-D2 and C-3PO. Commander Wolffe is clear that they are just here to set things up for the Aleen and then be on their way. When they make contact with the Aleen, it is clear that there is more going on than meets the eye. R2 and 3PO are thrown in to the midst of a conflict between the Aleen and another race living below the surface of the planet.
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| Everybody hates 3PO. |
After the last episode and then watching this episode, I realized that maybe the writers of "The Clone Wars" decided that they needed some lighter material. Maybe things coming up are going to be getting very heavy, so they figured let's give something to the kids. That is all fine and good, but could the episodes have been, I don't know, enjoyable, too?
I think there is an interesting story to tell in regards to the Republic offering aid to planets and people that are maybe displaced or have their homes destroyed due to the effects of the Clone Wars. Watching the Clone Troopers interact with the indigenous peoples, get them set up and then how it shakes out for them could be a really cool take on a standard SW: CW episode. Unfortunately, this episode is not that.
When you realize that C-3PO and R2-D2 are the main protagonists of this episode, you know that this is all basically going to be played as a joke. Commander Wolffe is immediately annoyed by 3PO's chattiness. Then, you meet the cutesy aliens and their king, Manchuco. How can you take them seriously? You literally can't.
The whole episode is basically fluff. The main conflict, figuring out what is causing the earthquakes and what the Aleen are trying to tell the Clones and droids is pretty flat. It feels really stretched thin. As soon as there is talk of breaches, it's pretty clear that they are talking about the broken seal that 3PO and R2 end up falling down. The most interesting thing in the episode is the weird tree creatures that conveniently speak Basic that the droids run into. I wanted to know more of what their deal was. What was their relationship to the Aleen. How long have they had this truce? But instead we just get a segment with the ridiculous Orphne who is a joke a writer came up with on an acid trip.
The episode ends with the droids sealing the breach and everything being great and none of the clones knowing that it was really R2 and 3PO that saved the day. It's a big who cares overall.
Grade: D
"Nomad Droids," Season Four, Episode 6
"Who's more foolish, the fool or the fool who follows him?"
Narrator: "Homeward bound! On a peaceful mission on the planet Aleen, R2-D2 and C-3PO were caught up in an adventure beyond their comprehension. After finally resolving the crisis and being taken to Jedi Master Adi Gallia's cruiser, they now head home toward the safety of the Republic, hoping to avoid a Separatist attack..."
That Separatist attack they are trying to avoid? They don't. Separatists led by General Grievous attack Adi Gallia's cruiser and take the occupants hostage. R2 and 3PO escape on a Y-Wing and begin a journey bouncing from one strange planet to another seeking aid from the inhabitants. Can the droids find rescue before it's too late?
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| Jabba the Hutt Jr. |
This episode is not great either, but it was my favorite of the three, mainly because I felt like it was kind of unhinged. It begins with Grievous attacking the ship and taking captives, which you would think would be the thrust of the episode, but no, you'd be wrong. Instead, we are going to follow R2 and 3PO on a planet hopping adventure. Ok, I guess.
The first planet they land on is populated by the diminutive Patitites. I only learned their names thanks to the subtitles. It's very Gulliver's Travels as they knock them over and tie them to the ground. They are ruled by the large Hay-Tzu. He doesn't rule them for long because 3PO claps R2 on the back and he falls forward onto the leader and smooshes him. I couldn't believe it. I laughed so hard. I was shook. Not only do they just murder the leader of these people willy nilly but for the remainder of the episode, R2 had his remains smeared all over the front of him. What is going on? Then 3PO haphazardly introduces the concept of democracy to them, doesn't explain it well and they take off. This would never fly in the "Star Trek" universe.
Next up, the droids land on the planet Balnab and they are taken to the people's leader. The Balnab feel like the Star Wars universe equivalent of rednecks. They are ruled by a Wizard of Oz style hologram who is not happy to see droids and tries to get the people to take care of the droids. R2 finds that the hologram is actually ran by droids who have enslaved these organics without them knowing. Again, another bonkers concept that is unhinged and really hilarious. Particularly when their deception is revealed and they are hunted down by the people they had bamboozled.
The final leg of their adventure is the least interesting. They get picked up by pirates and forced to fight in a droid fight club but they are eventually picked up by Grievous's ship which is then raided by Plo Koon and his battalion led by Wolffe. It's a full circle moment.
This episode is the most fun out of all of them, but I don't really see the point. It is the definition of filler and its not even filler that is that entertaining. I really could have done without any of these episodes and hopefully things pick back up next time.
Grade: C+
Next up, we for real this time have our first four episode arc with the conflict on Umbara.
What did you all think? Am I being harsh? Are there redeeming qualities to these episodes that I'm missing? Let me know in the comments.
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