A Long Time Ago, During the Clone Wars: "Sphere of Influence," "Evil Plans," "Hostage Crisis" & "Hunt For Ziro"

 Star Wars The Clone Wars

When we dived deeper into season two, I mentioned how each season of "The Clone Wars" was themed. Where season two was all about the bounty hunters, the theme of season three, which we are getting heavily into, is "Secrets Revealed." It won't be long before this theme becomes very apparent.

"Sphere of Influence," Season Three, Episode 4

"A child stolen is hope lost."

Narrator: "Pantora in peril! The newly elected Chairman of Pantora, Baron Papanoida, is caught in a deadly political game. The Trade Federation has blockaded Pantora and suspended all commerce with the system. Isolated from the rest of the Republic, the people of Pantora are beginning to rally against the Senate, who have seemed unsympathetic to their plight. To make matters worse, Count Dooku has come forward offering aid if Pantora joins the Separatist alliance. Chairman Papanoida has dispatched Senator Chuchi to Coruscant with the hope that she can motivate the Senate to act in favor of Pantora before Lott Dod can legitimize the blockade..."

After giving a rousing speech to the Senate where she also called out the Trade Federations associations with the Separatists, Chuchi meets with Padmé Amidala. For obvious reasons, Padmé is sympathetic to what Chuchi and Pantora are going through. To hedge their bets, the Separatists have Chairman Papanoida's daughters kidnapped. Using a loophole, Anakin sends Ahsoka to investigate. Can the daughters be located before Pantora falls to the Separatists?

Not a bad office.

The Trade Federation basically have one plan, huh. They blockade a planet and hope for the best. And they are so confident, which I don't understand. The first time on Naboo failed pretty spectacularly. I can't think of an example after that where it worked. But here they go again, trying the same gambit. Is this overconfidence? Insanity? Both? Who can say? The Trade Federation is the biggest example of the corruption running rampant in the Galactic Senate. Everyone knows they are working with the Separatists. There isn't a gasp of surprise when Chuchi calls them out. There is the overdramatic details of Lott Dod, but they are for show. Bureaucracy and red tape at its finest. 

I was a big fan of the planet Pantora when it was introduced earlier in the series and its nice to see it make a return. Whereas the people of Mandalor kind of come off as the worst, the Pantorans are certified badasses. Papanoida's daughters don't just sit back and let themselves be kidnapped. They fight back. And the Chairman and his son, Ion Papanoida, don't just sit back and let the Jedi do the work, they launch an investigation of their own that leads them to Tatooine. It's nice to see these side characters have their own agency. While Chuchi and Ahoska go after the Trade Federation, Papanoida and Ion kick ass and take names in Tatooine. 

I enjoy when we get references to future Star Wars stuff in "The Clone Wars" so I wasn't mad when Greedo showed up. It's nice to know he's always been as ineffectual as he was in "A New Hope." Ahsoka gets some great moments. She levitates Chuchi to avoid detection from the Neimoidians and successfully uses her Jedi mind tricks. 

The episode isn't all great. Rotta the Hutt makes an appearance, making it difficult for me to try to forget that he exists. When Greedo takes the Papanoida's to where one of the daughters is being held, the other kidnapper is just too stupid. How did he not clock that they were Pantorans right away? They literally look just like the girl they kidnapped. It's too much suspension of disbelief for me. But all in all, it's a decent episode and I hope we see more of Chuchi.

Grade: B+

"Evil Plans," Season Three, Episode 8

"A failure in planning is a plan for failure."

Narrator: "Evil plans! With the Jedi Council focused on the war effort, criminal minds are left unchecked to spread fear and corruption. Galactic gangster Jabba the Hutt has sent bounty hunter Cad Bane on a nefarious mission, which shall strike at the heart of the Republic. Meanwhile, the unsuspecting citizens of Coruscant go about their daily lives..."

Padmé is planning a state banquet for Senator Aang and she realizes the jogan fruit cheesecake is missing jogan fruit. A disaster since this is the Seantor's favorite dish. Anakin sends C-3PO and R2-D2 to purchase them not knowing the droids are being tracked by bounty hunter, Cad Bane. They have some information he needs and he will stop at nothing to retrieve it.

Padmé the party planner.

I'm going to be upfront and say that when I was but a wee lad it was the droid, C-3PO that got me interested in "Star Wars." I can't even remember where I saw him for the first time. It could have been that "Droids" cartoon, but for some reason that shiny golden fussbudget with the British accent really tickled me and was my entry point into that world. With love of 3PO come love of R2, which is all to say that this episode is kind of tailor made for me. 

Let's be real. This is a throwaway episode. The plot is flimsy af. Cad Bane needs Threepio because he thinks the droid has plans to the Senate building. He kidnaps him and after some light torture realizes it is really Artoo that has them. So, he grabs Artoo, gets the information, wipes their memories and sends them on their way. This is the B plot of a better episode. I am not sure how they decided to stretch this out to a full episode, but here we are. All that being said, I didn't hate it.

I fully realize that it has a lot to do with my affection for these droids. A lot of this episode hits the sweet spot for me. Even the start with Threepio being the fussiest party planner Coruscant has ever seen was tickling me. You can't beat the rapport the droids have so watching them bicker as they try to haggle with the fruit vendor and fight over whether or not they should go to a droid spa is just really delightful. 

Honestly, that droid spa alone makes this episode worth a watch. No wonder Artoo wanted to go to it. Who wouldn't? Oil baths and a droid wash. He left there looking like a new droid. 

One thing about this episode is that it makes Artoo seem like the irresponsible one which is a little odd. Especially since Anakin sends him with Threepio because he knows that Threepio is easily distracted. It's a weird bit of characterization that the show uses when it feels the plot needs it. 

Like I said, a real nothing episode, but entertaining nevertheless.

Grade: B-

"Hostage Crisis," Season One, Episode 22

"A secret shared is a trust formed."

Narrator: "Danger looms! Despite recent victories in the Outer Rim, criminal minds plot at the very heart of the Republic! The bounty hunter Cad Bane has assembled some of the deadliest criminals in the galaxy and plans a daring attack to seize members of the Senate. What can be the aim of this despicable act?"

After meeting with Jabba and the Hutt council, Cad Bane agrees to bust Ziro the Hutt out of his Senate prison. Bane and his team infiltrate the Senate, lock it down and take hostages. Anakin Skywalker is the only Jedi in the building but doesn't have his lightsaber. Can the lone Jedi take out the bounty hunters, keep Ziro in custody and keep the Senators alive?

Gross.

The answer is for the most part... no. I really dislike the character of Anakin Skywalker. If you have been reading these recaps, that shouldn't come as a huge shock to you. This episode really encompasses everything I hate about him. Right form the start, we get more of his relationship to Padmé and it really doesn't matter what form this takes, animated or live action, it's always cringe-y and gross. The dialogue is always bad and I feel like it's just a symptom of this whole misbegotten relationship being trash. Anakin spends basically this entirely conversation emotionally manipulating Padmé. He doesn't understand why they can't just fuck off for two weeks while there is a WAR raging. A war that he is a general in and that Padmé is fighting every day in the Senate. Then, he plays the "I love you more than you love me" game. He wants to win this game so badly, a game she isn't even playing. He wants it so bad that he gives her his lightsaber, which is why he doesn't have it when the shit hits the fan. Ugh. Just the absolute worst. 

Begrudgingly, I will say that Anakin acquits himself pretty well for a while without his lightsaber, but overall he's fucked without it and ends up getting captured. 

Cad Bane proves he's a badass not to be fucked with. This all seems very easy for him and the way he casually shoots that Senator who tries to peace out shows that he isn't all talk. He ends up getting what he wants which is *groan* Ziro the Hutt. 

Grade: C-

"Hunt For Ziro," Season Three, Episode 9

"Love comes in all shapes and sizes."

Narrator: "A great escape! Cad Bane and his notorious crew of bounty hunters liberated Ziro the Hutt from a Republic prison after holding the Galactic Senate hostage. The Jedi Council has assigned Obi-Wan Kenobi to retrieve Ziro the Hutt with the help of Jedi Knight Quinlan Vos. Unknown to the Jedi, we find Ziro in the clutches of the five Hutt families on the distant worlds of Nal Hutta..."

Cad Bane delivers Ziro to the Hutt council. They clearly want to get rid of him, but turns out he has a diary where he has detailed all their criminal activities and only he knows where it is and has contingency plans if something were to happen to him. Obi-Wan Kenobi and Quinlan Vos head to Nal Hutta to try to find Ziro, but with Cad Bane in pursuit as well, will the Jedi reach him in time?

Ziro...

This episode sees the introduction of my favorite Jedi from "The Clone Wars:" Quinlan Vos. Before they scrapped most of the canon stuff with the release of "The Force Awakens," Dark Horse comics had a Clone Wars series that Vos featured heavily in. They aren't canon but I would still recommend trying to track them down and give them a read because they are pretty great. Vos is a Jedi that goes his own way. He sort of reminds me of if a Jedi were a stoner and it makes total sense that he and Obi-Wan would clash. He also has a special tracking power that is highly useful in this episode. The best parts of this episode are the parts where Obi-Wan and Vos are interacting, ribbing each other. The fight between the two Jedi and Cad Bane is definitely the high point of the episode. 

"The Clone Wars" movie is so bad that I'm not sure why the show keeps trying to remind us that it exists. Seriously. This whole episode is just bringing that to the front. Ziro is just awful. I hate that weird Paul Lynde voice he has. Why is Ziro the only Hutt that doesn't speak Huttese and why does his voice sound like that? Was I happy when Ziro was shot and killed? I was ecstatic because that means I'll never have to see him again.

Were you yearning for an origin story for Sy Snootles, the singer they digitally inserted into the Jabba palace scene in "Return of the Jedi?" Well, I hope so because that's what we are getting. Apparently Sy and Ziro were an item and he left her behind on Nal Hutta. He seems apologetic enough when they are sucking face in his cell, but Sy holds a grudge. She is the one who kills him and steals the diary, returning it to Jabba. And then I guess she just stays working for him? Singing and stuff? It's a living, I suppose.

Grade: C

Next up, an oversight bill in the Senate causes problems and Senator Oncaconda Farr (remember him?) returns. 

So, what do we all think of these episodes? Are we just glad that we don't have to hear or see Ziro the Hutt ever again? Are you rooting for Sy? Excited for more Quinlan Vos? Let me know in the comments.