Into the DC Murderverse: "Justice League"

 "Justice League" (2017)

The story behind the making of "Justice League" is more interesting than the movie itself. Warner Bros. was losing faith in Zack Snyder's vision, especially after the critical drubbing that "Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice" took. Geoff Johns took over the DCEU and made re-writes to the script that upset Snyder and the film's initial writer. Warner Bros. brought in Joss Whedon to punch up the script and make it more "hopeful and optimistic." Snyder stepped down from the film to properly mourn the tragic death of his daughter and Whedon directed two months worth of re-shoots, gaining a writing credit but no directing credit. Shockingly, this movie wasn't the critical and commercial success that Warner Bros/DC were hoping for. The reception led to a small but vocal group of fans clamoring for the Snyder Cut of "Justice League" which we will be getting next month, for better or for worse.

Principal photography on "Justice League" began in April 2016 and concluded in October 2016. The film stars Gal Gadot as Diana Prince/Wonder Woman, Ben Affleck as Bruce Wayne/Batman, Henry Cavill as Clark Kent/Superman, Jason Momoa as Arthur Curry/Aquaman, Ezra Miller as Barry Allen/The Flash, Ray Fisher as Victor Stone/Cyborg, Amy Adams as Lois Lane, Jeremy Irons as Alfred Pennyworth, Diane Lane as Martha Kent, Connie Nielsen as Hippolyta, J.K. Simmons as Commissioner James Gordon, Ciaran Hinds as Steppenwolf, Joe Morton as Silas Stone and Amber Heard as Mera. The film was written by Chris Terrio and Joss Whedon. It was directed by Zack Snyder. "Justice League" was released on November 17, 2017.

Three's Company

Man, I don't even know where to start with this. I mean, let's get this out of the way right off the bat. "Justice League" is a bad movie. There was no way it wasn't going to be a bad movie. Joss Whedon and Zack Snyder are two completely different filmmakers. They are the exact opposite, really. Snyder is dark and gritty. He's more interested in creating these visual tableaus than crafting dialogue or coherent stories. Whedon is character focused. He wants witty dialogue. Their styles were never going to mesh and it is crazy that anyone thought that they possibly could. This movie is so tonally whack that you could get whiplash from how it goes from dark and serious to light and quippy. 

Now, "Justice League" has a couple bright spots in the dark and dank. Gal Gadot continues to kill it as Wonder Woman. My favorite action scene in the whole film is Diana saving the school children, deflecting bullets while her theme triumphantly swells in the background. It's great stuff. Gadot has chemistry with every single person she is on screen with, especially Ben Affleck, which is great, since they have a lot of scenes together. Ezra Miller is a great addition as Barry Allen aka the Flash. It's tough because there is a very popular television show based on the Flash airing and its lead actor, Grant Gustin, has really put his own stamp on the character. So, Miller has a big job, to differentiate his version from the television version. I think he does. His Allen is unsure, nervous, scared, socially awkward. He has an actual character arc that we get to see progress as the movie progresses.

There is a lot of good actors floundering in bad material here. Amy Adams continues to struggle with her interpretation of Lois Lane. She tries to make her the tough as nails reporter we all know she is but the script gives her none of the grit and gumption that we all know that Lois has. I'm always happy to see J.K. Simmons in things, but his Gordon is pretty nondescript. A hipster haircut isn't a personality, unfortunately. I'm not sure what Ray Fisher is doing. His Cyborg is... robotic. Heyo! The dude gives nothing. He's a blank slate. It's almost creepy. Then there is Jason Momoa's Aquaman which is basically just Jason Momoa. We will get into that when we get to his solo film.

Against God's plan

For a movie that is one of the most expensive movies ever made, the CGI in it is woefully terrible. One of the biggest examples of that is the picture to the left here. The worst mustache cover up since Cesar Romero refused to shave his while playing the Joker in the old Batman show from the '60's. It's so bad, like laughably bad. Who looked at this and thought, yeah, this is acceptable CGI in super hero movie from the late 2010's. And it starts the movie!! This is your first impression of this movie. This horrendous CGI. Like, I couldn't even tell you what happens in this scene. I think Superman is being interviewed by cell phone camera by a couple of ankle biters or something. But all I can focus on is how it looks like they covered Henry Cavill's "Mission: Impossible" mustache with silly putty.

I wish I could say that this is the only example of terrible CGI in this movie, but I would be lying to you all and I respect you all too much to do that. The main villain of "Justice League," one of Darkseid's minions, Steppenwolf, is entirely CGI and is entirely a monstrosity. It's so bad that I wondered if they had an intern do this to save money. I'm pretty sure I could concoct a better looking CGI villain and I can barely photo shop. 

The final third of the movie is a red tinged, CGI hot ass mess. Batman wears these weird driving goggles. There is a Russian family that doesn't evacuate when they should and are supposed to what? Help Flash become a hero? Show that there are humans this all impacts? I love randoms as plot devices, but this makes no sense.

Mother? May I sleep with danger?

The story is a hot mess, too. It's all about Mother Boxes and this being the second attempt at the forces of Apokolips attempting the Unity, which would make Earth another Apokolips. It's all just a flimsy excuse to unite Atlanteans, Amazons and men. But hey, we get confirmation that Green Lanterns who are not Ryan Reynolds exist in the DC Murderverse. So, there's that. There's a sub plot about how humans are losing hope and manifesting their worst selves because Superman is dead. This feels like a really heavy handed Trump metaphor, but the script isn't nuanced enough to really put that through. Then, the Leaguers decide to bring Superman back to life using the Mother Box that is real vague and everyone is cool with it except Diana. But Bruce shames her and she backs down really quickly. This is all just an excuse to have Superman battle the League. I'd have more of an issue with it, but Wonder Woman head butts Superman and I'm really into that. 

There are the usual Snyderisms here. The whole battle between the Amazons, Atlanteans, humans and Apokolips forces is pure Zack Snyder. It's fluff but it's pretty and there are lots of freeze frames that look like paintings. It's like the flashbacks in "Wonder Woman" but without any of the heart or humanity. He shortens Wonder Woman's skirt and gives her extensions because she wasn't sexy enough before. The Amazons are all wearing skimpy leather this time around instead of the functioning armor that they were wearing in "Wonder Woman." The battle between the Amazons and the parademons almost works but you guessed it, the CGI cocks it all up.

I almost forgot to mention this but one of the dumbest things about "Justice League" is when Aquaman and Mera enclose themselves in air bubbles to talk underwater. Why would they need to do that? It makes zero sense. That coupled with how shitty the underwater stuff looked had me really nervous about "Aquaman." I remember that after "Justice League" was released, James Wan, the director of "Aquaman," had to make a statement saying there would be no talking air bubbles in that movie.

The best part of the film is the mid credits scene where Superman and the Flash gear up for one of their famous races. It's charming and fun and bright. Its what the DC universe is and it's unfortunate that across three movies we have gotten like, how long is this scene, 2 minutes of that? The post credits scene shows bald Mark Zuckerberg Lex Luthor busted out of prison and meeting with Joe Tangerino's Deathstroke, setting up a sequel that will most likely never come to pass.

I'm really surprised that Warner Bros. would not only cave but throw more money at this so Zack Snyder and his cult could finally have their precious Snyder Cut. Executives didn't like what he was doing then and I can't imagine 4 years and 2 more hours of footage will change that, but we will find out next month. God help us all. 

Next up, we head under the sea to learn all about Atlantis and Nicole Kidman in "Aquaman."

Does anyone really love "Justice League?" And if so, why? Is anyone chomping at the bit for the Snyder Cut? And if so, why? Please enlighten me in the credits.