When the All-Stars Form Girl Groups, Some Are That Somebody, While Others Need to Try Again... Henny

RuPaul's Drag Race All-Stars, Episode 2: "Super Girl Groups, Henny"

The queens hit the werk room after Jasmine's elimination and it's a familiar scene. Trinity is teary as she wipes away Jasmine's message and she reiterates to the other queens that eliminating one of their own is not easy. Monét is not impressed. I don't understand why other queens shade someone for feeling badly. I assume it's because they think it's just for sympathy? Whatever. It's silly. Gia continues the 2018 Farrah Moan Shade Tour continuing to say that Farrah is not talented, but she does call her a beautiful bitch. So, I guess that's nice?

What We Doing?

It's a new day in the werk room and after marveling at Valentina's ass, or lack thereof, Ru comes in to give out this week's maxi challenge. The All-Stars will divide into two groups and write original verses to songs "Don't Funk It Up" and "Everybody Say Love." Since they were the winners last week, Trinity and Monique are the team captains. Trinity picks Valentina, Latrice, Manila and Gia and Monique ends up with Monét, Naomi and Farrah. The other twist in the challenge is that both girl groups will feature artist in residence and legendary Drag Race alum, Stacy Layne Matthews... henny. It's pretty clear that Farrah and Gia may be the weak links in each of their respective groups. Gia is shocked that she was picked last and feels like the other gals don't know what she does. Which is fair, because all she's done since she's been there is shade everyone who enters into her personal space.

Once the queens divide up and get their songs, Gia tries to elaborate on her beef with Farrah, which seems to be pretty fresh. I've watched this a couple of times and am still confused as to what happened. Gia is doing the real life version of vague booking and Trinity clocks it when she refers to it as "high school bullshit." Gia declares she wants to maturely handle this with Farrah, but no one is convinced.

The teams meet up with produces with Leland and Freddy Scott to record their tracks. It's pretty clear that nothing is getting recorded because none of the equipment is plugged in and the main stage isn't a recording studio, but they go through the motions. On Trinity's team, the big surprise is that Manila isn't doing great. She's really subdued and her verse is kind of lame. Valentina does great with her telenovela, Spanish laced verse about a man respecting her coochie coo. On team Monique, Monique has a killer voice and Farrah seems to think that being a former phone sex operator is similar to being a singer. Maybe she's right.

The teams rehearse with Stacy Layne Matthews and they are both messy. Team Monique are buckling under Monique's dictatorship, er, leadership and everyone on Team Trinity believes that they are the team leader. I would love to see Stacy Layne just watch the queens rehearse and commentate because it is hilarious. Stacy is great. Her titty pops out, I'm not sure what that daytime weave is she's wearing with the sunglasses. She's going to Wal-Mart after, I guess, but I'm living.

The day of the main stage presentations, Gia decides she is going to maturely go and talk to Farrah like an adult and put this inane drama behind them. They talk it out, cry a little, hug it out and everything is great. Just kidding. Gia goes up and tells Farrah that her team thinks she's the weakest link. This starts a back and forth and surprisingly, Farrah holds her own with some help for Monique. When Gia sees that she is losing, she again tries to turn it back to repairing their relationship, but no one is buying it.

It's 3LW

On the main stage, the judges are joined by Ciara and Kacey Musgraves. Team Trinity performs "Don't Funk It Up." Gia is serviceable. Her look is great and she gets across the message of her verse. Latrice shows us why she is an All-Star and a fan favorite with her high energy verse. Manila is super subdued and not herself. This is not the Manila that I remember from season 3 and it's really disappointing. Trinity looks fabulous and does great. Valentina serves Selena realness and her Spanglish verse and bubbly, sexy delivery slays. I don't care for Valentina but she is the standout in Team Trinity.

Team Monique comes out and performs "Everybody Say Love." Naomi Smalls continues to shine. Her verse is high energy and fun and she is a killer lyricist. It's clear she's having the time of her life and her interactions with Stacy are the best out of anyones. Everyone knows I love me some Monique Heart. And when I watched this the first time with all my friends, I was feeling it, but on a re-watch, it's kind of a mess. Monique is all over the place. She performs a lot of it to the ground and at times it seems like she doesn't know the words to a verse she wrote. Monét slays. She is a killer rapper and she serves it. Farrah is... the whitest girl you know. Her dancing is choppy and she almost makes Kim Chi look like Shea Couleé. 

Silver Fox

On the runway, category is "Eloguence After Dark." The queens acquit themselves pretty well. Monét looks the best she's ever looked in a red velvet dress. Valentina looks gorgeous as usual, but I'm not feeling her floral look. It doesn't feel after dark to me. If this was like a Kentucky derby challenge, then I'd say, great. Farrah's look is super basic and looks a lot like the same dress she wore when she was eliminated the first time, just with a boa and different hair. Monique's dress is real ugly. The shape of it is awful. It looks way better when she tears away to the nude reveal. I'm not sure why she just didn't come out in that. I think we can all agree that Manila Luzon murders this runway. I mean, stunning, gorgeous, flawless and the way she slinks down the runway she just sells it. When Ru calls it a get up, you know there's no way she's going home.

Monét and Valentina are the top two while Monique and Farrah land in the bottom. Monique is so defensive and it's not a good look. There is something to be said about being contrite and self-aware. Monique could take a page from Manila who accepts her fumble with a promise to be better. And Monique we all know there was more wrong with your performance than a coat. A coat doesn't land you in the bottom two. The whitest woman on the judging panel, Kacey Musgraves, deems Farrah Moan whiter than her. It's pretty clear that Farrah is on the way out and if it's not, Gia scuttling around the set hiding lipsticks that say "Farrah" around just in case should tip you off.

During deliberations the queens continue to humor Valentina and allow her to monologue as if she is worth something. Gia picks the worst possible moment to talk to Farrah again to seemingly clear her conscience but I'm pretty sure it was just so she could surreptitiously slip a "Farrah" lipstick into Monét's titty.

The lip sync is to Ariana Grande's "Into You" and as soon as Valentina mentions that her winning this lip sync would be a full circle moment, it's clear that Monét doesn't stand a chance. Let's be real, neither queen does super fantastic. Neither seem to know all the words to the song, Monét tearing off the bottom of her dress to reveal... a bodysuit is the lamest of the lame and Valentina's spastic "dancing" is more disconcerting than sexy. In the end, Valentina is deemed a winner baby and she gives her frenemy Farrah the chop. 

There it is. Episode Two is in the books and AS4 continues to be a lot more entertaining than it's predecessor. Are you guys loving it? Is Farrah's twice failed attempts to kiss the mirror the most apt summation of her time on Drag Race as a whole? Let me know in the comments.