"Road to No Way Home" Re-Watch: Spider-Man 3

 "Spider-Man 3" (2007)

The original "Spider-Man" trilogy with Tobey Maguire concludes with the much derided "Spider-Man 3." If there was ever an argument for less studio meddling in a movie, it's this one. Sam Raimi had just made the best "Spider-Man" movie, so why not just trust him to do what he has been doing and not force him to shoehorn in a popular villain that he hadn't planned on using.

Principal photography on "Spider-Man 3" began in January 2006 and concluded in October 2006. The film stars Tobey Maguire as Peter Parker/Spider-Man, Kirsten Dunst as Mary Jane Watson, James Franco as Harry Osborn/New Goblin, Thomas Haden Church as Flint Marko/The Sandman, Topher Grace as Edward "Eddie" Brock, Jr./Venom, Bryce Dallas Howard as Gwen Stacy, James Cromwell as Captain George Stacy, Rosemary Harris as May Parker and J.K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson. The film was written by Sam Raimi, Ivan Raimi and Alvin Sargent. It was directed by Sam Raimi. "Spider-Man 3" premiered on May 4, 2007.

This is what it looks like to be cool.

I probably haven't watched "Spider-Man 3" in at least ten years, so i wasn't sure what to expect. I guess that's not entirely true. I expected it to be pretty awful because I remember thinking it was pretty bad when I first saw it in theaters and then again the next couple of times I watched it. But maybe, after a decade of not watching it, it wouldn't be as bad as I expected it to be. So, was "Spider-Man 3" the unmitigated trainwreck that I thought it would be? Well, yes and no.

It's like there are two movies fighting here. There is the movie that Raimi clearly wanted to make which is the further fracturing of and then mending of the relationship between Peter and Harry and the story of Flint Marko aka the Sandman who we learn is the actual man responsible for the death of Peter's Uncle Ben. These plot threads make a lot of sense. The concluding film in a trilogy typically wraps up plot threads that have been left dangling from the first two and a lot of times brings it back to the beginning. I think if they had just stuck to that, but you know, Avi Arad had heard that the kids really loved that Venom guy. So, why not toss him in there too? And you know what else the kids love? "That 70's Show." So, cast the kid that plays Eric Foreman to play Venom, that'll be great!

Tobey Maguire continues doing a great job as Peter Parker. And this is a different Peter Parker than we've seen before. His life is going pretty well. He's finally with Mary Jane, who is on Broadway. The city loves Spider-Man. College is going well. So, you know that things are all going to come crashing down. But it's nice to see Peter kind of happy-go-lucky thought it kind of blinds him to everything else around him or what is happening with the people that he cares about. He's ready to propose to Mary Jane and goes to talk to Aunt May about it. Rosemary Harris continues to prove that she's treasure as Aunt May when she tells the story of how Ben proposed. She makes sure to let Peter know that she and Ben were looking good which I really loved. It was a fun little detail. She lets Peter know that a man needs to put his wife above himself, which Peter claims he can do, but it's pretty clear, even at the start of the movie that he can't.

I thought about saving this for closer to the end, but I feel like we should just get it out of the way. And that is Peter under the influence of the symbiote. A lot has been said and I'm not sure I'm going to add anything to the discourse. I remember being shocked when I first watched it and thinking it was just so ridiculous and stupid, which it totally is, but when I watched it again, this sequence really worked for me. It's ludicrous. Peter with his swooped down emo bangs and him like dancing down the street. No, in Peter's mind, he's looking amazing, but if you focus on the looks of the people watching this, particularly the women, you get a good idea of what is actually happening. They think he looks like a fool. And this is completely how someone like Peter would interpret being cool, so honestly, for as much shit as this whole sequence gets, it actually works really well.

A Kyojuro Rengoku moment.

The sequence that I feel like works not as well is the sequence in the jazz club. It's a head scratcher. Peter takes Gwen there to make MJ jealous. And suddenly he knows how to play jazz piano. He's doing his idiotic dance moves, jumping on the piano, skidding across the bar and people are into it? Like, they are legit clapping and are enraptured at this nerdy white boy doing.... like, I don't want to call it dancing... like throwing his body around a jazz club. Why would anyone, let alone Mary Jane, be impressed by this? The only things in this scene that feel viable at all are Gwen being mortified when she finds out the real reason Peter brought her there and when Peter's anger takes control and he shoves Mary Jane to the ground.

I have a feeling that when Kirsten Dunst heard that they had cancelled "Spider-Man 4" she breathed a sigh of relief. These movies have really given her nothing to do and this movie continues that trend. Mary Jane's whole storyline in this movie is being jealous of Spider-Man. She gets fired from her Broadway show because her voice doesn't carry. She shows up at rehearsal not realizing that she's been canned and has to see her replacement belting her big song, just so she can be extra humiliated. It makes no sense that she wouldn't tell Peter any of this. This whole thing plays out like the plot of some sitcom. People acting extremely illogically just for the sake of the plot of this movie. We even get that weird scene with Harry and MJ where he tries to make her an omelette, they dance to the twist, Harry tells her about the cringe-y, stalker-y play he wrote for her in high school and they kiss. Like, did we need another example of how Kirsten Dunst and James Franco have zero chemistry? didn't we get enough of that in "Spider-Man?"

The only time Mary Jane's actions make sense are when she finds out that the woman that Spidey upside down kissed when he was getting the key to the city was a woman he knew. That was an extremely dick move and anyone would be upset about that. Otherwise, Mary Jane finds herself in the exact same place that she finds herself in the third act of every Raimi "Spider-Man" movie: in mortal danger and shrieking at the top of her lungs.

Speaking of sitcom plots, let's talk about Harry Osborn. After finding his dad's Goblin gear, Harry apparently got a lot smarter and was able to figure out how it all worked and attacks Peter. The scene where the New Goblin (yep, that's his official title) attacks Peter is... something. The CGI is rough. It doesn't help that Peter is out of costume the entire time and I've maybe seen better special effects in a CW Arrowverse show. This is pre-black suit but Peter is extremely reckless and clotheslines New Goblin with webbing and almost kills his "best friend." Then, Harry gets amnesia. Amnesia?! And it's the most thinly defined amnesia I've ever seen. He remember high school, but he doesn't remember his dad is dead. It's so random. And that New Goblin costume. It's rough. Is he wearing like slacks? And his goblin glider is basically a snowboard that hovers? I'll pass.

Black is slimming.

When Harry regains his memory and forces MJ to break up with Peter and pretend she left him for Harry (yep that actually happens), Peter visits his friend in the symbiote suit and that battle is much better. It makes complete sense that Peter would be much more unhinged and really not holding back. They really lay into them and it's kind of chilling when Peter lobs a pumpkin boy back at Harry and it goes off right near his face and Harry is left for dead. Though, the movie does leave that plot thread hanging for like 45 minutes, so we have no idea if Harry actually is dead or alive.

The plot thread that works the most and the one I wish they had just centered the movie around is Flint Marko aka the Sandman. It's these sequences where Raimi really shines. There is a lot there that could have carried the movie. The stuff with Marko and his daughter. The reveal that Marko accidentally shot Uncle Ben. The scene where Marko ends up in the particle accelerator and merges with the sand is classic Raimi. It's kind of cheesy and really hearkens back to the original Stan Lee/Steve Ditko comics and that is really Raimi's bread and butter. The scenes when Marko initially forms into the Sandman feel a little low budget but for some reason it works. Thomas Haden Church, fresh off his Oscar nomination for "Sideways," does a great job and looks amazing in the classic Sandman costume, but sadly, he's given very little to do, but when he does get some good material, like the monologue to Spider-Man about what really happened the night Ben died, he really sinks his teeth into it. That is one of the best parts of the movie and it makes me sad we didn't get more of it.

Hands down the best action sequence of the whole movie is when Spider-Man confronts Sandman in the subway tunnels after he finds out that Marko killed Ben. It is reminiscent of the scene in the first "Spider-Man" when Pete goes after who he initially believes killed Ben. The sand effects look really great here. The best they look in the entire film. I love when Spider-Man is bouncing between the two speeding train cars. It's all really good and ends with Sandman meeting his mortal enemy... water. And being presumed dead.

By far the weakest part of this movie is the symbiote stuff. You can tell that it was shoved in and wasn't part of the original treatment for the film. In the comics, the symbiote bonds to Peter himself and basically creates the costume for him. But in this movie, it bonds to his spider suit? But sometimes it is bonded to his body? The movie plays fast and loose. Look at the scene where Peter tries to get rid of the symbiote. I actually really like this scene because it's very similar to what happens in the comics. He's in church bell tower and he uses the clanging of the church bell to get the symbiote off of him. The symbiote then drops down onto a humiliated and discredited Eddie Brock, who the sybmiote then bonds with. But here it looks like the sybmiote is the costume. Did it morph from just being on the suit to then being part of Peter? It's never clear.

Venom?

Topher Grace as Eddie Brock is a disaster. He's just a douchebag with bleached blonde hair. He comes out of nowhere. He pretends to date Gwen Stacy. He's so desperate to get a staff photographer job at The Daily Bugle that he doctors a photo by the freelancer that takes pictures of Spider-Man? That he's also competing with for the same job. Did he think Peter wouldn't realize that was the same photo he took? I feel like even if Peter Parker wasn't Spider-Man, he would still realize that was his photo on the front page of the Daily Bugle.

The third act of this movie is just a giant mess. It's rushed but also kind of a slog. They have to wrap up three different villain arcs and the only one that works is Sandman due to what I had mentioned earlier. Harry has a heart to heart with his butler and even though he's disfigured due to what his friend did he still comes to Peter's rescue and ends up dying in the final battle. Whatever. Who cares? The Venom in this movie is so freaking lame. Like, I don't even want to spend too much time on it. Peter is supposed to smart and it takes him so much time for him to realize that the symbiote doesn't like loud noises. The best part of this is that Eddie dies so we don't have to worry about him returning if they decided to make a 4th Spider-Man.

The one thing that didn't bother me as much this time around as when I saw it in theaters is kind of the ambiguous ending. Peter goes to see Mary Jane at her jazz club and the two have a moment and it ends with them grasping hands and we don't know where they go from here. And I think the adult me really appreciates that.

Welp. That was it. The Raimi trilogy goes out with a whimper.

Next up, Andrew Garfield takes over with the rebooted "The Amazing Spider-Man."

What do you all think of this movie? I will say that after "Spider-Man: No Way Home," I'd be down for a "Spider-Man 4." I think Raimi deserves a re-do. They should let him properly close out this story. Let me know in the comments.