Marvel's Inhumans, Episodes 1/2: "Behold... The Inhumans; "Those Who Would Destroy Us"
Before we jump into what happened tonight on the two hour premier of "Marvel's Inhumans," let's flashback a moment to the halcyon days of 2014. In October of that year, Marvel held a press conference to announce their planned Phase Three films. We heard about Captain America: Civil War and Thor: Ragnarok and the Infinity War Films. They also announced Inhumans. That's right. In case you had forgotten, Inhumans was supposed to be a part of Phase Three. It made sense at the time. The Inhumans are very similar to mutants and it was understandable that Marvel would want to find mutant adjacent characters that they could work into their cinematic universe since 20th Century Fox would not be releasing their hold on the mighty mutants anytime soon.
During the second season of ABC's "Marvel's Agents of SHIELD," which premiered about a month prior to this press conference, the Inhumans made their debut. I remember it struck me as a tad odd that Marvel would debut the Inhumans on this show that was pretty far from a ratings smash and then transition it to the big screen. It wasn't long before the film was pulled from Marvel's release schedule and then last year it was announced that Inumans would be a television show with the double sized premiere being shown in IMAX theaters a month before it's network debut.
Early buzz has not been great. People were not impressed by the on set photos, Medusa's wig, the trailer, Medusa's wig, reactions from an early Comic-Con showing were abysmal, Medusa's wig, poor special effects and did I mention Medusa's wig? Throughout all this, I hoped that maybe it wouldn't be as bad as I thought it was going to be. Well, it premiered tonight, I just finished watching and spoiler alert....
It's worse than I thought it was. I just sat and tried to gather my thoughts. I'm going to try to put into words why this abomination should air and be quickly forgotten. Forgive me any incoherence and potential babbling. Also, this is going to be full of spoilers for the episode, so if you want to watch and experience the train wreck in real time with no warning, then go forward and come back once you've seen it for yourself.
Let's start with the plot (what there is of it.) On the moon, there is a secret city full of Inhumans called Attilan. It is ruled by Black Bolt and his wife, Medusa. The other members of the royal family are Medusa's sister, Crystal, Black Bolt's brother, Maximus, Black Bolt's cousin, Gorgon and his other cousin, Karnak. Maximus is the only one of the core Inhumans who doesn't have any sort of superhuman powers. You see, around puberty, Inhumans go through a process called "terrigenesis," where they are exposed to magic crystals that activate a dormant gene that will trigger any latent abilities. If you are lucky enough to receive powers, you're a star and destined for a great life. If not, you end up digging in vaguely defined mines for the rest of your life. Unless you're Maximus, who didn't receive powers, but doesn't have to mine because he's a royal through osmosis. Maxiums really wants to leave the moon and go live on Earth, but Black Bolt doesn't. He is concerned with the Inhumans popping up on Earth ever since the terrigen crystals got into the water supply. In fact, he's sent an agent, Triton, to Earth to root them out, but Triton might be dead after he was ambushed. Gorgon goes to check on him, but surprise! Maximus is behind it all. There's a coup. Medusa's head is shaved. The Inhuman Royal Family minus Crystal is scattered around Oahu, Black Bolt ends up in jail.
Typing that out, it certainly seems like a lot happened, but when I was watching it didn't, mainly because even with all that, it felt so BORING. Everything was so vague and ill-defined. It was like watching a bunch of different events that weren't connected at all, even though a lot of the same characters were in each event. It didn't help that none of the main characters really had a personality outside of their power set, which is never good. It's even worse when you're not sure what those powers actually are. Honestly, if you weren't familiar with the character already and you told me that you knew what Karnak could do based solely on what was shown in these two episodes, I would call you a liar. Just so you know, he can see the fault in all things and avoid errors. A power he seems to lose once he's on Earth, so since he had no discernible personality aside from his ill-defined ability, he'll be a joy to watch from now on.
I don't understand what went on in the Inhumans writing room. They obviously didn't think that they needed to have ANY likable characters since they had these cool powers. Then ABC gave them the show's budget and they realized they weren't going to be able to show those cool powers, so they wrote ways to get away from them i.e. Medusa's head shaving, yeah, I see you. I know that likable characters aren't a necessity always, but on a superhero show, they have to have some redeeming qualities and right now they have zero. At best they're clueless elitists who honestly think things are dandy for everyone and at worst they are slavers building up the privileged on the backs of the weak. Neither is a good look and neither make me particularly care if they ever get their kingdom back.
Marvel, in movies and in television, has a problem putting forth a compelling villain and Maximus is no different. He comes across as a more impotent Ramsey mixed with a less charming Loki. Not a great combination. It doesn't help that he is played by Ramsay Bolton himself, Iwan Rheon. I sort of understand why the royals would disregard him as a threat, and it's easy to think maybe he was just acting like a wuss, but once the whole coup happens, he doesn't become more threatening. He doesn't seem smart enough to be manipulative, so when he's trying to coerce Crystal over to his side, it is just laughable.
There is so much bad in these two episodes. Why does Lockjaw scatter the royals across the island? Why can't he bring them together? Why does Black Bolt act like he's not familiar with phones, cars, etc, but is totally familiar with Earth fashion. And Black Bolt's face acting is so bad. Sometimes it looks like he's trying to give a quizzical look or maybe a mischievous one, but it really looks like he just farted and is waiting for someone to notice. Why doesn't Medusa know that Auran will come back to life when she goes HAM on her? What's the point of this human woman working for this aerospace company?
Ugh. I could go on, but it's making my head hurt. Full disclosure, I will probably keep watching this, just to see how it all ends up. It's only eight episodes and I doubt it will be renewed. Did anyone else watch this mess? Did anyone like it? I'm curious. If you did, leave a comment. I'd love to hear what you saw that I didn't.
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