The Real Housewives of New York City, Episode 3: "Battle of the Brunches"
Season Seven of "The Real Housewives of New York City" reminds me a lot of Renewed Ramona from season 3. It's going out of it's way to remind viewers why they began and presumably enjoyed spending time with these women in the first place. Step one in this plan was to bring back fan favorite, Bethenny and then do everything they could to put the ladies in situations that brought to mind the glory days of the show's first three seasons. How else to explain Countess Luann bringing "Jellybean" Kelly Bensimon aka Bethenny's nemesis to "pick up joint" Boutique? Was anyone buying Luann's "I just randomly ran into her and invited her along" excuse? Bethenny certainly wasn't and commented that it was a "slithery" move. Another season 3 callback! After Luann kisses the proverbial ring and apologizes, Bethenny seems cool and joins the other ladies, Kelly included. Will this be the last we see of NYC's most infamous socialite? Time will tell.
At the top of the episode, everyone is still discussing the fallout from Luann's housewarming party. Carole, Heather, Luann and Kristen are caught in the middle of the warring factions, so they decide the best way to handle it is to go to both brunches. They head to Bethenny's first and it's a veritable Skinnygirl showroom. That's one way to one up someone in the brunch business. The ladies end up with armfuls of Skinnygirl swag when they depart including a blender that Carole is happy to take off Bethenny's hands. Before they exit with their parting gifts, Bethenny pumps the ladies for information on the group's dynamics. Talk inevitably turns to the Lady Morgan and her various pipe dreams business ventures and Bethenny being the Business Woman that she is seems to believe that she can put Sonja on the straight and narrow. Heather was rolling her eyes so hard I could hear it, but even Bethenny admits that Sonja could be the dreaded "D" word... delusional.
The ladies try to get to the bottom of why the confrontation happened between Bethenny and Ramona. Luann seems to think it has to do with a dress that Ramona stole from Bethenny's talk show. When Bethenny called Ramona to bring back the dress Ramona told her that it fell out of the back of her car? What? First, the dog ate my e-mail and now this? Where does Ramona get her excuses? Dennis the Menace reruns and '30's gangster movies? Bethenny wasn't buying it, especially when Ramona Instagrammed a pic of her in the dress, but Bethenny is totally over that, no matter what her eyes, body language and tone of voice say.
I'm not sure why the ladies seem to be on Ramona's side in all of this rather than Bethenny's. Ramona is playing full defense saying that Bethenny was being verbally abusive. Was anyones surprised that Ramona didn't pull the bad childhood card just so she got full sympathy. Sometimes when you are getting to write Sonja completely off, she shows that there is still some spark behind those dead eyes. She's not buying Ramona's story and asks her point blank what Ramona did. In a desperate ploy to get the ladies to ditch Bethenny's brunch, Ramona named hers in honor of Dorinda. That is not enough to get the ladies there before Dorinda leaves. Maybe if she had offered the Ramona Pinot, True Faith jewelry and True Renewal skin care, the women would have been there sooner? Probably not. No one wants those things. Literally no one. The Battle of the Brunches goes to Bethenny.
The ladies return to the city and go their separate ways. Heather, Luann and Bethenny reunite to have lunch and order the most complicated margaritas on the face of the planet. Agave and other things that seem to have no place in a margarita. I was so busy Googling fancy margaritas that I barely paid attention to the conversation about the "new" Ramona that Heather was attempting to have with Bethenny. Bethenny and Heather are not going to be friends. They are both too hard headed and alpha female to put that aside. It's also kind of obvious that Bethenny isn't too impressed with Heather as a business woman or her appearance on MSNBC's "hand job" Shark Tank.
The visit to Boutique was like watching your single, middle aged mom go out and party, if she partied at a club you had to enter through the kitchen and she "went to the bathroom" with people half her age. Seriously though, Countess. It's time for you to stop looking down your nose at Sonja and Carole for dating young if you're going to do that too. Or are their different rules if you are just having sex? Is that in "Class For the Countess?" Are you writing a revised version. Speaking of Sonja, she wastes no time in making fast friends with the 24 year old German model whose name I won't bother learning. Ramona is also reveling in her singleness and hits on or gets hit on by three guys? Get it, crazy.
Kristen watch. She's at both brunches and she... talks? Maybe? What do we think of Dorinda and John's relationship? I don't get it. Showing up at Boutique sans Dorinda? Not kosher methinks. Speaking of Dorinda, how about that scene at the restaurant? Some mild racism there. Dorinda tried to cover it by saying it was because of the shirt he was wearing, but I think we all know the real reason why she thought that the guy worked there. Super duper awkward. What did you guys think? Let me know in the comments.
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